Have you ever felt like you were caught in a decision-making dilemma, not knowing whether you should proceed with something because you weren't quite sure it was God's will or not?? You pray, stammer, seek counsel & sometime still feel uncertain? Oh my, I've been there so many times!! But I think sometimes we make things harder than they need to be.
And though we most certainly should be in deep prayer over decisions, I love what my friend Patty said during their last couple heartbreaking attempts at adoption. As they contemplated over whether it was God's will (to also adopt a 13 year old), they simply found themselves asking Does it honor God? I wonder if God sometimes just wants us to step out in faith, with all that we know is that yes, it does honor Him.
As we have been very excited about our next adoption, it was a very scary decision. We had to make a very quick decision to move forward on it...giving us little time for prayer, much less fasting. But while we were moving forward what I prayed was, "Lord, I'm a bit (ok, very) fearful of the unknown here. In many ways this just doesn't make sense that we are doing this. But what I know is that there are so many orphans in the world...how can we not do our part? We are moving forward in faith because we can't see how this would not be pleasing to You. IF for some reason this is not your will, then shut the door immediately." The door has remained wide open.
We were at one of our many basketball games the other night and a dad from the opposing team walked by & said how adorable Lucy is. Of course I said thank you & moved on. He later mentioned that if his wife saw her she would want to adopt. Hmmm. I know he meant well but it kind of hit me wrong. Just because you see a cute little girl you would want to adopt?? Anyway, later the wife did see her & said something about adopting but that he didn't want to...& that she couldn't talk him into it. Honestly, I felt my blood start to boil!! I was thinking...these aren't puppies we are talking about...they are PEOPLE...children who have NO HOMES!! I left it with this statement that I hope penetrated their hearts, "You know, there are 150 million orphans in the world....as Christians we MUST do our part." They looked puzzled & said, that's right.
I hear so many excuses why people can't adopt...we are too old, it's too expensive, I don't have the energy, it wouldn't be fair to our other children. UGH! Please!!!! I do realize that adoption isn't for everyone...but I'm really starting to think that it IS for MOST of us. PLEASE take the time to read Bill's adoption story. You will remember that he and his wife Lynsay are in Ch*na working in their ministry The Morning Star Project.
Bill's adoptive parents certainly stepped out in faith, and the result was God-honoring...and changed the lives of Bill & his siblings.
The only reason any of us should NOT adopt is that we have clearly heard God say NO. Has He really said NO to you?
20 comments:
Very powerful post, Lori. Gave me a lot to think about.
Nancy
wow!
okay, so really, i'm right htere with you. i really don't think there is reason to not adopt. i would hope that the lifes that we lead in our Christian faith and with our beautiful children (who just happen to be adopted but loved the smae as any other child) will just speak to every single person. i think most adoptive parents have done enough research where we can combat almost any excuse... it's just our job to keep fighting for the orphans, they are our children. and just pray that people can over come the fear and stigma of adoption.
you totally rock!
I agree so much. We started out adopting from China and felt God call us to adopt from Guatemala (wich we did and now have a precious son) but we are still logged in in china and can go ahead with that adoption but people act like we are crazy. We also have 2 daughters, so sometimes it gets kinda tough. This was good to hear. Thanks for the encouragement.
Melissa
Wow Lori, Your post (and Patty's ) is JUST what I needed to hear. We are reviewing a file of a little girl with a complex heart condition and will need surgery when she gets home. However, I have been struggling with this. Because "I" have only been open to repaired heart conditions (like our first daughter from China)NOT listening to what GOD is telling me! And showing me.......Thanks for the encouragement!!
Oh Lori, I loved your post today and it is exactly what I needed. I too am spending lots of time in contemplative prayer about what God's will is right now for me. This is exactly what I needed today. He is amazing, isn't He?!?!?
I, too believe that adoption is FOR everyone whether you take a child into your home forever or sponsor a child financially. We are all called to take care of orphans and widows. This I know and I say it often, "if Gods stirs adoption in your heart, it will NEVER go away until you do it, you just have to listen"!
Last night at a basketball game, Bryson's first, someone came up to us and did the typical "Oh, he is such a lucky boy" as soon as I saw his lips about to say lucky I interrupted and said "Oh, you are so right we are so lucky!" Until you have adopted, you will never know how the parents are really the lucky ones and the kids just benefit from it!!!
Okay, now the real reason I came to your blog with my hot black cup of Joe this morning...go check out Bryson's blog!!
ok, ok
i gave in and set up a blog
keep up with my life and desire to adopt at
www.teamcolemanadventures.blogspot.com
xx
You spoke exactly what my heart is feeling. We are in a specific situation right now with adoption where we are praying like crazy for direction from God. People would think we were nuts for adopting right now with 3 bio children: 4 yr old, 2 yr old and 1 yr old. And an older child at that, which is what we are praying about. But where God leads we must follow, right? And with a joyful spirit and faith that he will complete in us what he has started!
This is so close to my heart right now and I'm just so thankful for your post! It was just what I need this morning.
Amen, sister!
Gayle
Preach it, Sista.
Lori, this post is great. I wish everyone could read it! So many comments we've gotten have given me a bad taste! Like, "why are they adopting... they can have kids of their own"! That one always sent the blood pressure up. I would always count to ten under my breath before commenting to them (alot were family members). I know so many who want to adopt but won't commit and that's a shame. I pray that with all of our (meaning us who have adopted) examples, people will realize the need of adoption! It is so rewarding for all involved. Thanks for the post today.
AMEN!Sister., my other post disappeared so I'll try again.
I love the excuses and the reasons my mind comes up with to not adopt again.
"I wonder how on earth I could be a mom again...I get upset when I shouldn't, my house is disorganized, etc" I know they are all just that..excuses.
You are going against conventional wisdom with your next adoption, but God loves to use His way to confound the "wise".
Chris
Amen Lori! I read Bills story and it will be one I will remember for a very long time. Truly one of the most incredible adoption stories I've ever read.
Recently, I've heard "we wouldn't want to take the child from their culture".. This REALLY got to me as I think it could be translated to "it is not something I want to bother with"!
Thanks for writing this post.
Yeah!!!!!! Awesome post Lori!!! You are so courageous! I love the strength of this post- you tell it like it is!! Praise our Lord and the dear darling children that need homes and a family!
You are too cool!
Yippee Jesus!
Blessings from MN,
Jean
Perfect post, and powerful, too. We have had several rather startling reactions when we tell people we are going to adopt; after all, we already have 3 children and a nice house in a nice neighborhood, and all that, they say. And aren't there many "better' uses for our money and time and energy? Ugh.
My husband has all along been worried about the money issue, but only so that he knows we have what we need when a referral arrives, as well as any extra we may need for surprises. It's just his way of being a provider, which I appreciate, though it did slow down the start of our process at first. :-) We are both excited for this coming year, though, and so happy to be inching closer to our new child ...
I suppose not everyone feels it in their heart to adopt, but I suspect that many people simply don't listen enough to hear the call. I feel blessed to be on the adoption journey, and I hope that my family's journey will inspire others to do the same.
All the best,
Nicole A. in OH
Well Lori, I thought this post was pretty eye opening. I'm struggling with a problem and the moment and reading your post I was realize my problem is absolutely nothing compared to what these kids are facing. And i wonder all the time if i'm doing the right thing.. God's Will. It's hard sometimes but I just wanted to let you know i've never considered adoption ever. And i know i'm still a restless teenage but wow you've made me think about (in the future =])adoption as a possibility.
Thanks Lori! I know that after the girls were born I just go SO upset at all the Christians walking around who were totally untouched by adoption and were completely happy that way and didn't really want to hear anything about it! Everything was wonderful until they found out these two little caucasion girls who happen to look just like their parents were adopted....then, while they said it was wonderful, they just didn't want to hear anymore. The crazy thing is that anyone who is a Christian knows adoption more intimately than anyone else, we have been adopted by a KING! One of the first Bible stories we are ever taught is about adoption (Moses!)
Ok, I could go on and on, but now my mind is wandering as I'm thinking about posting something today! :)
Lori, you are such an inspiration. Thank you for giving us the link ... very inspirational and also something to share with our friends and family. - Michele
Beautiful post Lori,
We have recently started the international adoption process and it has definatly been a time of seeking God's will for our lives. Our boys are almost all grown, our daughter is very independent and we were getting very comfortable. Doesn't God have the perfect timing? He certainly gave us the perfect picture of His idea of adoption. How can we not adopt?
Lori,
I'm so with you girl! And so excited I could read your blog........(for some reason it doesn't always come up on my computer!). Anyway, honestly I get so sick of hearing people say "oh I'd love to adopt" but never do anything about it. But then I'm reminded that my husband and I also said that---and had he not got cancer, adoption probably would have always just been a good idea that we liked to think about, but we might not have ever acted on it. Its amazing how God can use the worst times in order to prepare us for what is to come later!
Patty
Wow,wow,wow! I just linked your post to my blog. Thank you!
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