full circle [leonard the rooster]

My hen house:

Spring.

Winter.

I'm very good at identifying the seasons!

And I'll tell you something else.

Between finding two snakes lurking in my chicken house,

and a crazy Polish attack-rooster named Leonard, I'm getting very close 

to needing anxiety medication to gather eggs these days.

That's Leonard, pictured above.

His time on this earth is drawing to a close end, I'm here to announce.

Another thing on the homestead about to meet its demise

is this lemon cake I made today.

First, I clearly didn't practice the fine art of spraying a bundt pan adequately.

And the entire top section stuck,

leaving a particular little Chinese boy wide-eyed and eager to dig into a pan-scraping appetizer

before his fish sticks at lunchtime.  

And to boot, I got a little wild and crazy with the whole grains again

and not only was my cake aesthetically-challenged, it was about as light and tasty

as a cinder block.

So, my chickens will be enjoying this hearty treat.

Perhaps this is just what Leonard needs.

See how I came full-circle with all this?

I think we all can agree that I'm long overdue for a good night's sleep.

botox and farmers' market

Lori's list of random things from her weekend.

1.  Father's Day was rather uneventful.  Oh, we had the obligatory "lunch" and "presents",

but it never even occurred to me to take a picture, or anything related to that.

But trust me, K-Man was showered quite nicely with gifts, homemade cards and the like.

And to boot, he helped me clean out our horrendously disgusting hen house,

because last night's torrential storm left it beyond recognition.

I was fully prepared to just get the shot gun and take out the chickens, one by one,

and skip the whole cleaning process.

I was.

But...with the help of my MAN, we pressed on like any good prairie family would.

The chickens are safe, for now.

2.  Brenden is on the trendy Paleo diet and I am about to ring is neck because of it.

I really could almost cuss, I'm not even kidding.

Whoever thought of this non-grain diet clearly has not been in my house, nor has any idea

of what good and nutritious food really is.

And if you don't already know, Brenden is WAY skinny, like his mama used to be.

So, it's super annoying.

*&$^#^%#*@*, that's all I'm going to say about that, for now.

3.  This morning I had this poignant conversation with my husband, not even kidding:

Me:  "Honey, look at my face and tell me what you think I desperately need."

Him: "Ummm, you need to go to the bathroom??"

Me: "What? NO.  I need Botox, isn't that obvious?"

Him:  "I really don't know what to say right now."

Me:  "Yes, that's what I need.  Don't you see how angry I look all the time

with these blasted frown lines between my brows?"

Him:  "Aren't you always angry though?"

Oh, just forget it.  

4.  I'm contemplating participating in a local farmers' market.

But I am really not sure if it will be off-the-chain stressful, or over-the-top fun.

Or somewhere gracefully in between.

It's just a gamble, I guess.

Either way, I anticipate some really great blog material, so that's always a plus.

I'm an avid people-watcher, so I think I could gather some interesting

observations and report it all here for you all to enjoy.

And we could all have a laugh at the expense of others.

(Well that's not very nice.)

5.  It's 7:43 PM as I type this, and I couldn't be more ready for bed.

Honestly, I am becoming more and more old-lady-like every day.

And I kid you not when I say that I am on the hunt for some really comfy

zip-up cotton house coats.  Really.

We'll talk more about that later.  

I have some serious sensory issues I haven't discussed with you yet.

6.  I sometimes wonder why I continue to type my blog posts centered,

instead of the traditional left-to-right way.

I wonder what that says about my personality.

Fun?

Quirky?

Full of anxiety and mother issues?

(Just kidding, Mom!)

7.  Speaking of the torrential storm we had last night,

here is a picture of what it did to my Mother's Day tree.

Well, the tree I got for Mother's Day some 17 years ago.

 I nearly cried.

8.  Here is a picture of Isaiah from yesterday when I caught him in the 

laundry room.  With his underwear on his head.  Yes.

 And I'll leave you with that.

I'll be sure to keep you updated on the farmers' market and Botox situations.

crazy hair design {help needed}

There are good things and bad things when it comes to having a big family.

One of the few bad things is,

bathrooms fill up quickly, often leaving little people needing to be resourceful.

For example, a certain man-child might or might not have to utilize

the great outdoors.

(We are country folk, remember that.)

And, comb his hair after shower time in the entry-way of the house.

As you can tell, he's all upset about this.

But that's okay.

Because it gives him great inspiration for creative hair design.

Good heavens.

Crazy children.

Doing crazy things.

To a crazy lady's hair.

Beauty has been redefined.

Here's a few things I've learned from this series of photos:

1.  Roots.  Retouch them immediately.

2.  Get going on Dave Ramsey's financial planning to save for Botox.

3.  Never let a camera this near to me ever again.  Ever.




And in all hopes of not having those images burned into your retinas,
here is a cute kitten video. 

kitty cats! {wonky internet}

Goodness, my internet has been completely wonky in the last 24 hours.

Like, I was set back to the 1900s, kind of wonky.

First-world problem.

Poor me.

Only those of you who have satelite internet would understand.

Anyone?

Whew, but we're back up and running now.

Except that I am on my way out the door and don't have time to post

something deeply thought-provoking, as I usually do.

I'll make it up to you later, I promise.

But here's a little kitty-goodness for you to enjoy:

Our babies are just the cutest and sweetest things ever.

And they are sooooo loved on.

And they will be looking for new homes SOON.

To my local friends, CALL ME, and I'll hook you up.

A new kitten would make a fabulous Father's Day present!

Or a 4th of July present!

Or a Help-Lori-Out-For-Goodness-Sake present! 

Okay, I gotta go.

Things to do.

Places to go.

Groceries to get.

Have a super great day!

(And don't forget to call me for a kitten...they'll go fast!)

(Sure they will.)

(No, really...they WILL.)

sandwich canvas

First of all, how are you?

I hope all is well!

As for me, I'm just here dangling off  a cliff of Mt. Sanity...

and could plummet down into the Valley of Crazy at any moment.

So really, everything is perfectly normal. Thanks for asking!

And here's some randomness for you.

Lucy and Isaiah have discovered the joy, THE SHEER JOY, of wearing big comfy t-shirts to bed.

Which is awesome because now I can use their pajama money to 

finally go on that South Pacific vacation I've been dreaming of.

Sweet dreams, precious ones!

*****

I hope to soon do a post titled,

101 Dinners Made from a Loaf of French Bread

If you give me a loaf of French bread and a fridge/freezer of leftovers,

I'll whip up for you the most amazing concoction you'll ever encounter.

So let's start with this.

It's not all that creative, but I took pictures...so this is what you're getting today.

Preheat your oven to 350.

Dice up some red onion, jalapenos, and garlic.

Saute it all loverly in a big glob of butter.

I said, GLOB of butter.

Take your buttery goodness and spread it on a sliced-in-half (lengthwise) loaf of bread.

Top it with a heaping helping of shredded mozzarella cheese.

Or whatever you want.

Remember, this is YOUR sandwich canvas.

Let your imagination run wild!

Then on the other side of the sliced bread, load it up with sliced ham.

Put your loaves in the oven for about 10-15 minutes.

Your stuffed loaves will come out of the oven crusty on the outside,

and warm, cheesy, buttery, and hammy on the inside.

Slice them up, and tell your family how amazing you are and how lucky they are to have you.

And they will sing your praises and buy you presents and a new pony.

That's it.

The End.

Goodbye. 

my food truck

So I mentioned to you the other day that I want to own a bakery,

if it weren't for the getting-up-early-every-single-day-and-baking thing.

But then I had the bright idea,

"Hey, I could have a food truck!"

A BAKERY truck.

That way, I can just get up and drive/bake/sell on the days I feel like it.

Yeahhhhh, baby!

(Source)

 THAT would be so cool and so very trendy.

And actually, my friend Patty and I have a little bakery business idea on the back-burner...

and maybe a TRUCK is just what we need!

We can travel the country, evading the law, just as we have always dreamed.

So, if you see a couple of crazy ladies driving through your cul-de-sac
trying to peddle croissants out of an old ice cream truck,
that will just be Patty and me.

Oh, and we'll for sure have coffee too.
We're full-service, man.

Be watching for us!

little pizza makers

I'm pretty sure this is my 174th pizza post.

I really enjoy repetition.

And pizza.

But pizza-making is getting different around here.

Because I am no longer the lone in-house pizza chef.

The kids are now free to express themselves,

via personal pizza creations.

 They think this is THE greatest idea ever in the history of mankind.

Though their topping selections were sans any veggies,

I just played it cool by plotting to strategically brain-wash them before next time.

And to stealthfully hide healthy things in the sauce, luring them to believe that

they are fully in charge of their selections.

See?  I'm not really letting go of the control after all.

I always find a way.

They had such a blast and were so proud of themselves!

In their estimation, it was THE best pizza ever, EVER.

They gobbled it all up.

And wanted more.

The people were HAPPY.

Can you tell?

I think tonight I'll let them make their own

chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, and rolls.

Although, I need to be careful because I don't want them to realize

the boring monotony of dinner-making too soon.

Oh, the delicate dance.

Have a fabulous weekend, friends!