Saturday, January 10, 2009

Because She's Our Daughter

So sorry but this is rather long. Grab a big mug of coffee & a scone...

A couple of you mentioned in your comments that I had failed to tell you all about K-man's back injury. Ooops! Actually, I decided that since he doesn't like to air his ailments like I do, I better not tell it to the world. But thank you so much for your concern and please pray for him as he is continuing to heal.

On that ntoe, his pain meds seem to be putting him into a pretty deep sleep because he has been sawing enough logs to build a small cabin, leaving me wide-eyed in the middle of the wee hours. I finally told him this morning that he was officially on probation. He said, "Well what does that mean?" to which I replied, "We'll let that remain a mystery to keep you on your toes!" I'll let you know the outcome of that. Though I will note here that at this moment he is cleaning up the kitchen and insisted that I sit and enjoy my morning coffee! He's so great! (and I'm happy to say that threat or no threat, he would do that for me anyway...:)

I forgot to mention yesterday (and I CAN'T believe I didn't remember to put it on my list of thankful things...I may go back and add it) that it was one year ago that we first saw Lucy on the SN list with our agency and our hearts haven't regained their shape from the melted stage since. OH THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!! I weep every time I think about it. God has blessed us way beyond what we deserve. And now we are at it again!! WOO HOO!!!

It's interesting to me watching people react when I tell them we are adopting a 13 year old (and since it has been such a short time since getting Lucy, it often feels like I am telling people I'm pregnant just six months after giving birth! We're like rabbits.). In some cases, it's almost painful to see them keep their positive, excited face on. When we first started our adoption journey, thinking we were getting a baby, everyone would just squeal with delight (though they thought we were off our rockers starting over with a baby) at the thought of a little Chinese baby girl!! Then when we found Lucy on the Special Needs list and began telling people we weren't getting a baby after all but a 2 1/2 year old! Wow. You could almost see in their eyes "WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU ADOPT A TODDLER AT THE PEAK OF THE TERRIBLE TWO'S??" Ummm, because she's our daughter, duh!

So now the announcement of a 13 year old leaves everyone (ok, not EVERYONE...we do have many all-on-board supporters) a bit shocked. I just can see their brains buzzing, "Ok, you adopt a toddler and now you're getting a child just entering the teen stage?? Are you crazy??" Again, ummm yes, because she's our can we NOT?? (Watch out, our next adoption might be a menopausal woman! Ha! Oh no, that would be me!)

I know that for many people adopting, they are doing so because of infertility and they desperately want a BABY. I TOTALLY get that!! But for us, we are adopting simply because we love children and we want to give a child a matter their age.

I want you to read something that one of my blog friends posted to an adoption yahoo group:

I've actually talked recently to more then a few people in China about this. One girl I've talked with volunteers with an orphanage while her husband is there teaching English. She said that the kids who age out either end up in prostitution, or commit suicide(she said this was too common), the lucky ones end up working in a factory, or can get a job with the orphanage. I'm not sure when they are actually "released" onto the street..........I could try to find out. I can't imagine it being at 14 but I suppose its possible. She told me that ALL the kids want to be adopted, she said that even in the "worst case scenario" adoption where it was a way super hard transition that they would be so much better off being adopted because they would at least have opportunity and family to call their own. If they stay in China as an orphan the future is very hopeless...........................

Oh can't you see why adoption at this age is so crucial? I guess my point in all this is to perhaps reach even one family who is possibly struggling with the idea of an older child...maybe you kinda want to but can't let go of what that cute-baby scenario looks like in your head. Or all you can think about is the what-if's in a negative sense (power struggles, difficult attachment, rage...) and YES those may be things that you (and we) might deal with. But WHAT IF it turned into the biggest blessing you ever received....WHAT IF you realize how incomplete your family was without this child...WHAT IF we all just trust God to lead us and let go of those self-made family portraits in our brains and let Him show you what it should look like.

So for anyone who maybe cringes when we tell them we are adopting an older child, I can assure you we are every bit as excited (if not even a little more) as if we were getting a coo-cooing baby! Yippee JESUS!!

PRAYER REQUESTS: Our homestudy will be complete once we get our fingerprint stuff back from the FBI....PLEASE pray that this comes in SOON!!


The Bachville Times said...

Count me in as one who is super excited about this adoption. Not only am I excited for you, K, and the guys, but for Miss Lucy. I "got it" before you even announced the plan. It makes perfect sense.

As a mom of five, I know the looks and the reactions of others when you announce these things. Imagine the looks and comments when we were pregnant with number five. (aka Thomas) It hurt a bit because he was as wanted as number one, two, etc....

Don't give the naysayers or weird looks even a first thought. Just hang with us positive folks :o)

Emily said that she would love to be "big sis" to this sweet girl. Thanks for such a wonderful compliment of being asked.

Carol said...

We are excited to add to our growing number of grandchildren. They are each unique individuals and we pray for God's will to be done in every life. Lucy will love having a big sister to tag along after just as much as she loves her big brothers. Gugus?

It is awesome to have a front row seat, watching what God is doing in this fantastic family! Another precious girl to love? Absolutely.

God bless,


Amy said...

This is a beautiful post, Lori. I am so happy for you and your family. God bless you all...

Jean said...

Great Post! We have experienced that also with our adoptions- thanks for putting it into words. I just smile when I tell them our story- I actually feel they are totally missing out (the nay-sayers). This has been the most incredible journey of our lives and 27 yrs of marriage! It is so awesome and such a gift from God.
I call all my children my babies- no matter how old they are!

Shawna said...

It is indeed interesting to hear the comments from individuals who just don't get it.

We too have been asked "Why China?" and our response is simply "Because that's where our daughter is." We still see the perplexed look on their face.

I wished more people would consider opening up their hearts to the orphans, regardless of age, race, etc. every boy and girl deserves a forever mommy and daddy. It's that simple!

Nancy said...

Can't wait to read your blogs when you have a teenage daughter. It will be good training for you when Lucy is that age.

Nicole A. said...

I think you're great, of course, as I have followed along since you were waiting for Lucy on the JTM site. And I am so happy that you are adopting an "older" child. I can't wait to follow along, and it is inspiring. I could see us doing that someday, although right now our little ones are still little. But someday. Anyway, count us in as people who are excited for you and don't question you one bit!

All the best,
Nicole A. in OH

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