Tuesday, October 9, 2012

a brilliant plan devised {bwahahaha!}

I guess you could say that my love language is,
words of affirmation.

Actually...it's not so much that I speak that language, but it's definitely
the language that fuels me.

Particularly at dinnertime.

Because I need to be inflated with compliments, even if they're fake,
over the dinners I slave over.

Slave over!

But truth is,
these people in my house just gobble up the food like ravenous wolves,
take their plates to the dishwasher, and walk away,
nary a compliment.

Nary a compliment!

So last night as I was making
Chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes & gravy, and green beans,
I devised a plan.


It was a mighty plan.

I planted a one-dollar bill in my right pocket,
and a five in my left.

The first person to compliment me on my dinner,
would be quickly rewarded with cash.
(Yes, I've resorted to this.)
(We'll deal with my needy issues later.)

And we had a winner!

Lucy quickly said how yummy dinner was, right out of the gate.


I handed my favorite-child-of-the-moment a shiny new dollar,
thanking her for her kind words.

Jaws dropped around the table.
Eyes were wide.
A cloud of disbelief hovered thickly.

"Well, now...it seems that it pays to tell Mommy that dinner is good, now doesn't it?"

And even more shock ensued when I pulled out the five in my left pocket
and told them that I was planning to give that one if a
 big-kid happened to be the first to step up to rave over my meal.

But, it was Lucy who was the winner.

And I do think a valuable lesson was learned with all.

Positively brilliant!

(But I'm a little worried about where to go from here.)

The End.


Nancy said...

You endlessly crack me up. Great idea, though.

Tesseraemum said...

I am so Jealous !! You are the smartest woman I kind of know!!

I can tell you where this is going!

Think of the gobbling and animal noises as your affirmation!!

You could be like me and get "oh, great, mom made fried chicken sushi. She trying to kill us again." Notice the quotations? This was an actual statement heard in our house. I'll send my kids out for a week. They will be happy to counsel your kids on how lucky they really are!! They will start in about all of the animals and then eventually get to the great food but it should be an all around productive week! Sheri

Angie said...

Great idea, but you may need to switch over to Monopoly money or you'll be borrowin' from the kids for groceries! :)

Patty said...


Anonymous said...

I love it! I think im gonna try this tonight!

angela ford said...


You are hilarious.

I love it.

So, WHERE do you go from here?

Janet and Kevin said...

Oh Lori, you are too funny! I like the idea though! :)

janet and gang

Rebecca said...

You've just given me an idea! I may only be able to afford to do it for a day, but kids need incentives and sometimes we moms forget this. Our God is a God of huge incentives, isn't He? Thx for the idea! I'll try out my knew plan tomorrow and let ya know how it goes!

Natalie said...

Thanks for my daily laugh! You are genius!

Jean said...

I can tell ya where this is going!

Your gonna need to get a job... a paying job so you can keep paying the children!!

Love the idea!! May need to try it to restore my confidence in cooking!

Another way to go is to burn the Rice a Roni and then no one will want you to cook cuz even your children from China will tell you it tastes like burnt coffee even though they have never had burnt coffee...

And then your husband will cook the dinners...

This happened to a friend of mine...

Just sayin...

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