Thursday, July 26, 2012

meal-planning {and world peace}

As the mother of 27 children,
meal-planning is essential.
(Ignore my inability to count)
(I'm a little cloudy these days)
(A lot cloudy these days)
I've learned that eating at home is
cheaper than eating out.
Yes, it has taken me close to 25 years
to figure that out.
I used to ride the short bus.

So all this newly-found enlightenment
has taught me to write lists.
Oh, I write lists.
I go on wild tangents where I take 
grocery shopping-life by the horns
and show it who's boss.
I can work a shopping cart,
piling that sucker high and wide
with a million kids dangling off of it,
like nobody's business.
And I maintain a perky disposition all the while.
Actually, that last part isn't true.
Not true, whatsoever.

But most of the time, truth be told,
my planning and shopping is completely
I'm forever a free spirit.

lack of planning has kicked me in the booty
more times than I care to count
and I'm done with it.
Done, I say!

So after learning from others' menu-planning
I have decided they know nothing
about what works for me.
Don't even try to get me to nail down
now what I will make three weeks
from this Thursday.
I'm a free spirit, I told ya.
So I came up with my own plan.

Here's how it goes:

I divided my meal categories into 
four categories:
(Breakfast isn't included because
to me, that's a no-brainer.  There's always
eggs/bread/cereal to eat.
No planning necessary)
(Unless I make breakfast for dinner,
which I've recently put a ban on.
But I can't talk about it, lest I get upset all over again)

Here are my categories:

1.  Easy
This would include things like:
sloppy joes

You get the idea.
I currently have 11 meals in this category.

2.  Big
This would be for a couple meals 
a week, like:
cajun chicken pasta
spaghetti and meatballs
fried chicken strips

They're heartier than the Easy meals,
and a more labor-intensive.
But I'm woman enough to handle it.

3.  Once-In-A-While
Let me explain this one in a little more detail.
These are hard-core meals.
Meals that will only be made randomly,
all based on my mood and degree of
generosity I feel towards my family on that given day.
Things such as:
chicken tetrazini 
(which K-Man does not like but everyone
else that's why it's on this list)
salisbury steak
chicken-fried steak fingers

4.  Quick Weekend Meals
Here's the deal on this category.
I all too often forget about meals for
the weekend.
I don't know why everyone can't
just be happy with a little spinach salad
and fruit.
But, no.
These people won't settle for that.
But I refuse to spend my entire weekend
in the kitchen.
(Who am I kidding?)
(I am nothing more than a non-paid
cook in a greasy diner).
May I take your order, please?
Here are some of your choices:
baked potatoes
fried egg sandwiches
ham salad
(that really does sound like a diner
menu, doesn't it? 
Except for the quiche, I suppose)

all that to say, I now have my extensive
list of meals.
And I am pretty sure I remembered
to buy everything I need for all of them.

And now world peace can finally begin.
Because Lori only has to go 
grocery shopping once a month now.
In theory.

My work here is done.
You are welcome.

My tip jar is on the counter.
Feel free to utilize it.


Patty said... should have a tip jar on your counter, girl! And those boys in particular should start using it!! Oh and umm...thanks a bunch for feeding my girl scrambled eggs on demand each morning. Guess what she wants at home now? If only we had chickens. Headed to the store for more eggs now.....

Anonymous said...

You crack me up! And inspire me!


Faye Verquer said...

sounds who is going to cook all that??!!!!


Karin said...

Please, oh please...share your easy recipes! Well...not for taco's, cuz I already know how to make those. snicker... but if you have any easy ones, have a heart and SHARE!!

Holly said...

Oh, my dear, dear cyber friend. Oh, how I love this post. Let me count the ways. I'm not sure why I love it so very much, really, but I am guessing it has to do with the fact that meal planning/grocery shopping/cooking dinner ranks up there with cleaning the toilets on my Things I Just Don't Want to Do list. Actually, it's higher on the list than cleaning the toilets. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who finds it hard to get the whole stinking thing accomplished week after week. Thank you.

Wife of the Prez said...

"I used to ride the short bus."

Really was this necessary? As a Mom of a child who rode a short bus to a special education class, I really cannot find this amusing AT ALL.

Janet and Kevin said...

We now shop at Aldi's almost exclusively with so many little and big mouths to feed, and boy does that make our grocery shopping easy! Not as much choice, but a whole lot cheaper. We do shop twice a month what we call "our big grocery shopping." And our littles love it. That shows you how exciting our lives must be when going shopping at Aldi's is a fun and exciting event! :)

janet and gang

Natalie said...

Hilarious and relatable (is that word?) as usual! Please list all 11 of your easy ideas. What if you have one on your list I've forgotten?!

David and Janet Hurley said...

We finally whitled our big shopping trip down to 1x a month. We do Aldi, then WM for whatever Aldi did not have, and to use coupons. Then that evening, we go to Sam;s and have their cheap pizza combo for supper, and buy stuff there. However, we do the Sams;s thing 2x a month.

Jean said...

The larger the family gets the more confusing this whole meal planning gets!

The older boys seems to be hanging at home during dinner time...

I need to have a plan! Let me know how this works for you!

Chris said...

I cannot keep schedules! It drives me nuts! Life would be so much easier...but I guess I'm just the adventuresome type and like to fly by the seat of my pants...that or I just don't like a piece of paper telling me what to do!

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