the dark side of the aging-out program

As a follow-up to the article,

The Dark Side of China's "Aging Out Orphan" Program

by Brian Stuy,

I'd like to give a few points of my own thoughts,

because we are very much in the thick

of this situation.

By the way, I am "Debbie" mentioned in the article.

First, in regards specifically to the Journey of Hope project

that WACAP put together (that BOTH our oldest were included in),

there were red flags from the get-go and

as the article states, a very trusted American working closely

with the children in the orphanage warned WACAP of his concerns

of these children having family members.

And WACAP chose to ignore him.

In fact, he was mysteriously asked to leave the orphanage and not return.

I want to reiterate that point because it is significant.

I'd also like to say that I spoke with WACAP eight+ months

ago about all this,

and all I got was a condescending email touting of how great

Director Pei is and that I was clearly mistaken about

his involvement in corruption.

But we now know so much more.

I truly believe that had it not been for the "gathering of children"

for this project, and empty promises made to Chinese families by Director Pei

and the civil affairs office,

and WACAP's lack of investigation when told about the concerning red flags,

these kids would still be living happily in

their families in their birth country, with birth relatives.

But oh, how money speaks.

And greed spreads like wildfire.

I am angry.

I am angry because not only are we left to deal with the normal

baggage that adoption brings,

but we are dealing with the enormous brokenness that

this situation has put on our children.

I know first hand of one of the Journey of Hope children who wrote a letter

to send to a relative in China.

His American parent had the letter translated.

How interesting that a portion of it it said,

I will send asthma and diabetes medication as soon as possible.

I will return to China.

Please wait for me.

It is chilling that these kids carry that kind of weight.

Shame on all the adults who put that on them.

And I'm tired of all the desperate pleas by agencies

and others for kids to be adopted,

as if America is the answer.

America is NOT the answer.

Christ isn't exclusively in America.

He is the one true God of ALL NATIONS.

Yes, we have a responsibility to care for orphans.

Much of the time, adopting them is exactly

what we are to do.

But perhaps, caring for them isn't at all about playing on the heartstrings

of families to bring them into their homes,

causing all kinds of stress on both the child and family.

Perhaps sometimes we simply pray.

And perhaps what we should do is

stop trying to be the hero.

Perhaps we need to encourage and monetarily support ministries

who are pouring themselves into helping orphans, enabling them

to stay in their home country and live very productive lives.

I know of an orphan who wasn't adopted,

aged-out...and guess what?

A ministry stepped in to help him.

He now has a job, supports himself, and LOVES THE LORD!!

In fact,

he was recently featured on a Chinese television show

because of his inspiring story.

There is a great ministry right in Henan that is doing exactly that.

I do hope that you'll consider reading about and possibly

supporting,

Lighthouse China Foundation.

My friend Tami,

who serves on the board and just returned from China,

had this to say:

my husband and i just got home last night from a week in henan province. we
visited two private orphanages and a larger government orphanage. our
non-profit works in that province and we were going to check things out on the
ground there vs. getting second hand reports.

all the PEAR stuff and brian's report don't surprise me, really. and honestly,
the goal of my post isn't to specifically weigh in on that. i mostly want to
provide a brief report about things that are going RIGHT in china - henan
specifically.

we met an amazing man. he is 72 years old and he and his wife
are running a private orphanage for 20 orphans there. 2 of his kids are in
university, 5 are boarding at high school in the city (his orphanage is on the
outside of the city), 12 are attending local schools and 1 is not allowed to
attend school because of a severe seizure disorder. ALL of the children
(including the one not allowed by the government to attend school) receive
tutoring 4 days a week from students at a local teaching university. he
provides for all their physical needs and is providing training
for their future.

his motivation? he was an orphan and is responding to the needs he sees around him.

we met another man in shenqiu. he lives in an AIDS village. 2,000 residents.
400 people with AIDS. 200 of the people in their village have died in that past
2 years. he is caring for the AIDS orphans in his village. 20 children.
sending them to school and providing for their needs. he saw a need and is responding.

these are two AMAZING examples of people giving and loving - not for selfish
gain, but because they saw a need and responded. you would be so impressed by
the level of care they can provide with NO government funding. they have no
motivation to put on a good show (as so many of us have seen in the government
SWI). i should add that both of these orphanages care for children that are
almost exclusively over 14 years old. none are adoptable, as they are not
registered in a government orphanage.

we visited a government SWI. we went with the only purpose of visiting a
private care facility within the government facility. i had received the full
tour 9 months ago and didn't want to go through that ridiculous song and dance
of "look how much we LOVE orphans and how AWESOME we care for them!". the tour
guide was very disappointed when we refused the tour to only visit the care
facility.

*I am not in any way affiliated with this

ministry. I am simply listing

it here as a great option for anyone

interested in supporting older-child orphan ministries

in China.

********

In closing,

I need to stress to you that I am in no way discouraging adoption,

even that of older kids.

Adoption is at the very heart of God.

But when there are red flags, brace yourself.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless

is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to

keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

James 1:27