Wednesday, February 8, 2012

just a little's nothing, really.

On Monday I went to meet with our CPA to go over all our tax stuff.
It was loaded with fun,
as tax discussions usually are.
We once had a tax guy named Elmer who was about 87 years old.
And he stuttered.
Boy, was he a blast.

I will never understand a person who CHOOSES to sit
behind a desk and crunch numbers.

Warped and twisted, I tell ya.

Anyway, it occurred to me on the 40 minute drive over there that our
very favorite Chinese restaurant is just across the street
from the exciting and fun-filled CPA firm.
And my appointment would end, just after noon.
I resolved that in order to restore my joy after the mundane appointment,
I would run over and get some lunch.
By myself.
Don't tell the others.

I was in a hurry so I got it to go.
Have you ever eaten Sesame Chicken and steamed rice in the car?
That's exactly what I did.
I'm pretty skilled and coordinated.
But you already knew that.
I did save the hot and sour soup the half-eaten egg roll for later.

As I was driving towards my neighbors' house to pick up the little kids,
I realized I was about to be busted.
My elicit MSG rendezvous, exposed.
Quick, how do I hide the smell of Chinese food from Chinese children?

I did what any good mother would do.
I wiped the sauce off my chin and devised a plan.
I put everything in a plastic sack, tied it up tightly and rolled all
the windows down to air out the car.

But there simply is no way to mask one's guilt, I soon learned.
There's a sermon there somewhere.
Lucy knew instantly something was askew.
I had to fess-up.
But I played it down. Way down.

"Oh, that? (insert nervous laugh) That's nothing...
just a little soup...and stuff...really,
it's no big deal. It's Mommy's treat.
You got to go to play at the neighbors' house...
and Mommy got to have a nice lunch."

The deal was completely equal in my mind.


Fast forward to Tuesday.
The leftover soup and egg roll were beckoning me.
But I had to devise another plan, so not to have to split
my remaining Bag-O-Chinese-food, three ways.

So here I sit,
in my closet as I indulge in my left-over soup
and half-eaten egg roll.

Trying not to be discovered again.

I hope you all have a fabulous day,
filled with secretive meals and snacks in your closet.

*And yes, I did in fact photoshop my pics.
I felt I should glam-down the way I looked because, you know,
I am so darn tired of ALL those modeling scouts calling constantly.
I'm not interesting in your run-way deals, man.
I'm just a regular mom with a regular life.
Yes, that's it.


Rachel said...

hope you didn't spill any on the new carpet!

Anonymous said...

Was it good?

Tesseraemum said...

Oh my! DID you spill on the carpet?!
Next time take a book and enjoy the ambiance in the restaurant! Your friend watching the kids will totally understand! Sheri

Cari said...

I'm glad that I'm not the only one to sneak treats into my room so I don't have to share them with the kids. {Learned that one from my mom...hmmmm}.

About the numbers just have to remember how quiet it can be working with numbers...humans can be so annoying and frustrating...well I guess numbers can be too, except they don't get an attitude. :)

Robin said...

I would totally have done the same thing :).

connie said...

Oh, how I get this!!!! Thank you for sharing your guilty pleasures so openly and elloquently :)

Healy Family said...

I love eating icecream in my room so the kids don't see me. Totally motivated by not wanting to share. It's my favorite part of parenting!

David and Janet Hurley said...

I am a very wise woman; I keep febreeze in the car!!!
Actually it was originally because of a small gassy chinese child. And the fact that if we get a burger, I can't stand everyone smelling like a burger all day, so I mist them all as the enter the van.

Chris said...

Did you eat it cold? A microwave is a dead give-away for food smells- brings the kids from all corners of the house

Holly said...

SUCH great idea. : )

Natalie said...

Laughing because I can SOOO relate!

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