Friday, January 20, 2012

get your free advice here!

Wow, you guys.

This advice thing is really something.

It's so nice to have my pearls of wisdom appreciated, finally.

I had planned to wait until next week to answer ya'll's* questions but one is fairly urgent
(when it comes to hair situations, I don't mess around. It's no laughing matter).
And another question that touched my heart so deeply, that I simply can't wait.

*I'm pretty certain that having two apostrophes in one word is incorrect.
But I stand by my decision to use it.

Oh, and I love, love, love, what Mom/Gramma called me...Lolly.
That may stick.
We may just call my new column,

Ask Lolly: Offensively Blunt Advice {my service to you}

That's a bit long,
but I'll work on it on tweaking it.

But I do know for sure that I'm legally changing my name to Lolly.

Before we jump into this,
I need to tell you something very questionable about me.

Last night,
around 10:00 right before heading to bed...
my bedtime snack consisted of
a salad and cereal.

Not even kidding.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

Oh, and lest you are worried about the suspicious
tea that ended up in my mailbox (see last post),
trust me, it really was TEA
from my darling friend/neighbor, Carla.

so let's roll up our sleeves here.

(If I ever miss a question, please know that it is NOT intentional...
kindly remind me!)

Faye asked:
Lori and Polly,
how on earth do you stay so upbeat and silly?!! I LOVE reading your blogs just for this very reason!! Keep it going!

Well Faye, It's either stay upbeat & be silly, or completely lose my mind.
The first two are much more fun.



Dear Lori,
Should I be offended that my teenage girls never ask to borrow my clothes? Sincerely, Insecure in SC

Dear Insecure in SC Girl, it's time you go shopping and buy
a mini skirt and Uggs. Then, guard your closet.


Dear Lori,
Where does the weight go when you lose it? :D


Dear Brittne,
Well, it's clear to me that all lost weight
has arrived safely on my muffin-top.
Thanks for that.


Dear Polly,

My 3 teenage sons have morphed into children I do not
understand, or claim.

How in the world is a poor mother to survive this
stage of
parenting without completely loosing her mind?

Dear Anonymous,
Give them crew cuts and tell them to go build a fort.



Madeleine said:
I went to get my hair streaked. I have a little bit of gray
hair growing just in the frontish of my head, like a crown.

SO instead of starting to go with plan old dark brown
like the rest of my head,
I decided to go to my hair dresser and
get it streaked gray.

Because I am a grandmother, and totally cool.

A great combination if I may so myself.

The issue? It turned out blonde. duh.

(Cont'd comment in yesterday's comment section)


About 18 years ago I had someone ask me to do this.

It was a
man who was going to his
high school reunion (or something)
he wanted to look more distinguished.

Well, as a young hair stylist,
I freaked out a little.
Mostly because it was a man.

Anyway, I politely turned him down
because I knew it wouldn't work.

And I kindly tell you the same thing.
Especially with your dark Hispanic hair...

even if you could get it bleached enough to get all the
color out of
it, it wouldn't look natural.
Leave your streak blonde, is my vote!
And wait for the Master colorist, our Creator,
to give you
the silvery crown you deserve, in due time!


There are other comments/questions I will try to answer
later but I want to jump right to my favorite
one of all:

Dear Mrs. Lori,
First, I must tell you that I just LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!!! :)
I love it so much that in my high school English class we had to write
a paper on if we could meet any living person who would it be and why,
well you and your family were the first people that came to my mind,
but I didn't want my teacher to think I was a weirdo,
so I didn't write about yall haha. I feel like I know all of you,
and I know my mom gets so tired of hearing about your blog because
I tell her things about it all the time haha. :)
anyway haha, my senior year I made some bad choices and
got pregnant with the most wonderful precious BLESSING from God!
I love my little baby so so much!! :)
now I am so much closer to our AWESOME GOD,
I now know how important it is to date and marry Godly Christian men!!
But here is my problem, good Christian guys aren't really into girls with babies.
How do I get past the stereotype of being a teen mom and make
them fall in love with me haha!? :)

My Dearest Anonymous,
Are we friends on FB? Because your situation sounds familiar to me.
Anyway, I've really been praying since I first read your
I asked the Lord to give me five points of advice for you. :)
I hope that I heard Him correctly!!

1. Honor the Lord, and seek Him daily.
*Pray continually.
*Have a Bible reading plan.

2. Second only to God,
your baby comes next
on your priority list.

*Pray over her.
*Read to her.
*Set a good example for her with your words, actions,
and by dressing modestly.

3. Make good choices in relationships.
*Surround yourself with growing Christian friends
who will lift you up and hold you accountable.

4. Find a Mentor
*Ask the Lord to bring you a mature godly woman
who you can meet with regularly.
*You may not always like what she has to say,
but trust her advice, as long as it lines up with the Word of God.

5. Put finding a boyfriend on hold.
*OK, I know that's not what you wanted to hear.
Who knows, God may have the very man for you,
just around the corner...but let GOD bring Him to you.
Your highest treasure is depending on you
to take care of her (your baby is a girl, right?) and fiercely protect her.
There is very little room for mistakes here.
Please know that waiting on the Lord in this area of
relationship is worth the wait, however long it is.

And one last thing,
if you ever need someone to talk to, you are more than welcome to call me.
I can send you my number.
I'd love to chat with you.



Jennifer said...

You had me belly laughing and then tearing're good. :) Hugs!

Hello Commenters?? said...

I love this post, I hope you get to mine soon!
Signed, Hello Commenters??

mary said...

Love you, Lori! I also want to meet you some day!

Joanne Reddell said...

Great post, Lolly!! You are one of the funniest people I know!!

BTW, I need to CONGRATULATE you, friend!! I just noticed that your followers are OVER 300 - I'm so stinkin' excited about that!!!

Anyhoo, have a great weekend!! Sending lots of love across the miles from me to you!! ♥

Chris said...

300 followers huh? Guess I gotta start an advice column, wanna be just like Lori when I grow are older than me aren't you?...oh maybe not...skip that.
Hey I really like your advice to the last question..

Erin said...

Lolly, your advice column keeps me coming back. Fabulous!

Jean said...

Well, you really have found your niche!

Love the humor and the wisdom and most of all love your passion for the Lord!!

Great advice on all but especially the last one!! God answers all prayers just not in the timing we would prefer! he also answers them his way- not always our way!!

Blessings to Anonymous! You go girl!! You can do this- God is with you every step of the way!! Saying prayers for you!!

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