Tuesday, June 30, 2009

surrendered

I'm so very thankful for all of the
advice everyone gave me yesterday regarding
our travel plans.

Shortly after posting yesterday morning...my heart
started going in a different direction.
And as I read each comment, it was confirmed.

So, as of right now, it will be just
K-man and me traveling.

And Ninny (my mom) will be staying
at our house with Lu, Bren & Nick.
And K's mom/dad will help out also
(they just don't know that yet!).

Plus my friend Angela (whom Lucy LOVES)
is going to pitch in.

As we looked at all the pro's and con's....
Lucy staying home was the
best idea.

I know she will struggle at times but
I think the struggles will be WAY less being
in her own home than
in Ch*na.

Plus, that gives K-man and I a tad
bit of time alone (woo!) before our lives completely
change (again!) and time alone
with Shu Li.

Karen, we might take your advice and
have K leave when we go to GZ.
Though I gotta tell ya...
I'm a little nervous to be completely
alone with Shu Li!

Is that horrible?

What if she doesn't like me....
or we have a hard time communicating?

OR...

maybe it will be an incredibly sweet bonding
time.

I gotta pray on that.

**************

The big thing we were praying about yesterday
didn't work out.

It's a very long story & my heart is a bit
weary so I will just tell it to you
very short & sweetly...

We were trying really hard to bring home
not just Shu Li....but another girl as well.

Like I said it's a very long story, our
agency said it was possible (quite a stretch though).
But after completely surrendering
it to the Lord...
we could see that His hand just wasn't
in it.

I think that my post yesterday was right on....
He was testing our willingness.

And also testing my need to let go of control.

Turns out my willingness is much bigger
than my desire to let go of control.
(If you've been here long, this doesn't surprise you in the least.)

Anyway, I'm happy to say that all is well.

We got our LOA from our favorite UPS
guy yesterday...got it signed & back
to UPS to overnight to our agency.

Please pray that our TA comes *quickly*!!
Since Lynsay told me I was totally dreaming if
I thought Ch*na was less hot and humid in September,
I've decided that I'd just rather go in August then!

You will be quite entertained by the incredible
contortions my hair will do.

17 comments:

Jaime said...

lori - your heart is amazing! simply amazing!
(i just noticed 101 friends... uh-oh... not an even number!)
thanks for all of your encouragement

Hezra said...

Ever watch Friends? Monica in Barbados?(spell?) Or There was Roz from Fraisier in the steam room. . . lol you couldn't see anyone really, but you could hear her voice and see this HUGE puffball of hair. lol MY hair is like this too. And my sweet innocent little girl got it too. Mostly, people say, on MY what body your hair has. . . lol(yes with LOTS of smoothing gel it is called body) Olivias is down to her bottom and STILL makes ringlets that would make Shirley TEmple green with envy. But. . . the flip side. When we wake up on a rainy day. . . lol It is so bad that the guys in our family know that if our hair is frizzy, there will be no golf for dad that day. HAH! We are their own in house barometers!

Sarah the Kool Kid said...

aw, I'm sure Shi Lu will love you! Who doesn't? ;)

Nancy said...

A very wise decision, Lori. Any way you could leave K-man's return flight open ended? That way if you really thought you needed him (which I highly doubt since you are very, very capable) he could stay on with you if necessary.

Sarah Dawn said...

Lori, My heart is with you sweet one. God is in control, and such a blessing for your husband and you to travel together. Waiting 'til our day comes!

Hugs from Costa Rica,
Sarah Dawn

Karin said...

Just some more unsolicited advice from me :). I had a friend whose husband left and skipped the GZ portion of the trip. Her daughter freaked out and thought another important person in her life was leaving her. It took her a long time to get over it. She was five years old, so younger than Shu Li. If the only reason to have K go home early is for Lucy, I would have him stay in China. I just think it is always good to have two adults there in case one gets sick, to handle luggage, etc. We've been to China six times and Jeff got sick five of them. Poor guy!! And there were other times that I just got bad headaches for unknown reasons and was basically useless. But, I am not God, so I will just pray for you to know what He is calling you to do! :))) HUGS!!!

Sally- That Girl! said...

Okay Lori, Karin and I are not in Kahoots as we don't even know one another, but I am really starting to like her alot!!!! I totally agree with her once again to have K-man stay the entire time.

I was going to have Robert leave after province just so he could be home with the girls. Trust me the girls did not need him as much as I did. Granted Bryson has a lot of issues that involve being independent, but I would not have wanted him to leave once in GZ.

Now could I have done it? Of course!! But it was so much nicer with my best friend!

And you are right about the time prior to getting Shu Li can be yours and K-man's. While going to China to adopt can never be equated with vacation because serves a purpose much greater than any vacation, those few days prior to getting her can be just quiet alone time for the two of you. Robert and I thoroughly enjoyed that time and were ready to get Bryson on the day we did.

Janet and Kevin said...

Lori,

Hard decisions, I know! We are struggling with them as well. As you are giving it over to God, he WILL guide you. Praying for you.

Lynsay said...

I'm not in Kahoots with Karin either, though if I were it would be pretty cool cuz she is pretty awesome....and obviously very wise!! Love ya sister and I know you guys will make the right decisions for your family with the leading of GOD!!! Hugs

Shonni said...

I love watching how the LORD works things out for his children...
and two...wow, I am so proud of your family and what the LORD will do in you!

Jean said...

Sounds like you have a plan! I think you are making a good choice- it is a very hard decision. Shu Li will love having both parents in China with her!

I'll be praying for your TA to come soon!
Blessings!

christy rose said...

HAHA! Your willingness is easier to surrender than control. I think that is the case with all of us. But as we know our God, we can trust Him and let Him have the control. Easier said that done, I know! But possible through Him!

Lacy said...

Lori- I am sure you will make the right decisions for your family.

For what it's worth I left Katie home in March. I honestly think it was harder on me than her. While she did miss me, she had a lot of fun being spoiled by her grandma's.

I did waver a bit and tried to get her a ticket the night before I left. I will tell you what the wise airline ticket agent told me:) "You are doing such a wonderful thing for your older daughter. This is alone time you will both cherish. Your younger daughter will be fine. This time with your older daughter is priceless and it is a wonderful gift you are giving her." I think she was a full time psychiatrist and part time ticket agent:)

I know how hard it is to leave those babies. Good luck! I will keep you in my prayers.

Holly said...

:(

I am sorry it did not work out for that other girl. But isn't it nice to know that God has a perfect plan for her life too. I will just assume that He has her all picked out for someone else.

I am glad you and K-man are going! I can't imagine going without my hubby. I am still holding out hope that we will go together!

Still praying for you...:)

Elizabeth Koproski said...

hi, I just wanted you to know that we are a Hague family. (you left a comment on my blog). I hope this does give you hope. God's timing is perfect!

Jen said...

Lori, thanks for your sweet words you left for me! We are struggling with the same issue on whether to take Marin or not. We are praying and asking God to give us clear direction. Now, here's hoping for a super fast Provisional Approval, Article 5 and TA for you!!!

Mom Of Many said...

Reallyrelieved that you are not taking little Lu. And thank you for asking for prayer for Dw.

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