Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Crumb Cake

Yesterday afternoon I had to take the boys to basketball practice in two completely different (yet side by side) towns. After I got them both dropped off, I was on my own...Lucy stayed home with Kel (suddenly she's "daddy's girl"...whatever). I decided to go to a new grocery store....well, not new, just not one I normally go to...

You know that lady (we've all seen her) that is wandering around the parking lot, pushing her shopping cart full of groceries, obvious to everyone that she can't find her car, yet is trying to look as if she knows what she's doing? Yeah, that was me in this store. I didn't know where anything was. Don't you just hate that? But I was trying to look as if I was just lapping the place for my good health. Playin' it cool. But as I paced back and forth I was a little excited to discover things that my "usual" store doesn't carry. Good times.

As I was going through the produce section (the first time), a very nice young man stocking the lettuce greeted me & said a big friendly "hello". Well, that was nice. I went about my business of trying to figure out what I would buy for dinner....finding some "chicken grillers" in the fresh meat department...wow, those look yummy. But darn, K hates chicken breasts...but look, they're wrapped in bacon & stuffed with cheese! Surely that will please him, he'd eat his own shoe if it was wrapped in bacon. Besides, he needs more chicken and less beef. I'll take four, please.

I then decided I would add a nice loaf of fresh bread to our dinner and went to the bakery, again passing produce guy. Got my bread then went in search of some rice. Found the rice, passing...you guessed it, PG (produce guy). Then I thought, hey, why not a salad for dinner too? I suddenly felt really paranoid to yet again, pass PG....now he's going to think I'm flirting with him. So I look at the bagged lettuce...hmmm....do I really need to pay the 1500% mark up for someone else to cut up my lettuce? (Note to self: start bagged-salad company with only 1000% mark-up...crushing the competition, yet still making a cool mint)

No, I will swallow my pride and head back towards PG...I know he's seen me each time but come on, my family needs a vegetable for dinner. I almost reach my leafy destination and suddenly, PG's friends stop by and stand right smack in front of all the lettuce!! Well at this point I can't bring attention to myself by asking them to 'excuse me'....so I circle around again. I head aimlessly across the store....oh look! (I'm easily distracted) There's a delicious cream cheese-filled coffee crumb cake that I have been dreaming about for weeks! Yes! I'll take it...now back to my salad situation. I sneak up to see if the coast is clear. Great! Friends are gone...but darn, PG is still there. Ok, what's wrong with you, I asked myself...who's in charge here? I muster up some confidence and dart right towards him. Standing in front of the large selection I see the Romaine, which is what I want....but that is what PG is stocking!! If I lean over to get it...how will that look? Seriously dude, I'm not interested in you. I could be your adoptive mother for cryin' out loud. I compromise and grab a head of leaf lettuce and get the heck out of Dodge.


So now with the store and PG disappearing in my rear-view window, I then headed to get a much needed cup of coffee....no...I'm feeling edgy, I'm getting a Mocha. That's right. Then suddenly I remember the crumb cake that is resting quietly behind my seat. Well wouldn't that go nicely with my way-too-expensive coffee drink? Sure would. So I break out the cake and....nothing to cut it with...what to do? My van is loaded with everything you can imagine...there is probably an entire cutlery set somewhere in this chaotic mess...but all I could come up with was a hair barret. Yes, I cut me a generous piece of cake with a hair clip thingy. Where there's a will there's a way. Enjoying my afternoon delight, I give a quick glance in the mirror and see, along with the just-arrived powdered sugar on my lips, toothpaste was smeared on my way-too-thin-lips...ahhh! PG must have desperately wanted to tell me with each passing that I looked ridiculous. **sigh** Oh well, at least my hair looked unusually fantastic.



Sorry, no pics today but I will tell you a cute little Lucy-ism....when she goes to the potty on the potty (which is rare, because she fully enjoys the convenience of these great American diapers), she conveniently calls the whole sha-bang, Peep.....Poop+Pee=Peep. "Mama, I went peep!" Brilliant!

7 comments:

Jaime said...

this might possibly have been the most hilarious blog post i have EVER read! i think i'll read it a couple more times today whenever I feel i need a "pick-me-up"

Carol said...

Lori, I must say, once again...write a book! I have been there and done that and we all can relate!! PG's brother works at our local Price Chopper.

Love,

Mom

Nancy said...

See Lori?!?! Everyone agrees that you should write a book. When can I read it?
Nancy

Lori Anne said...

I do the same wandering at new stores. No PG to encounter, but I'm not as cute as you either. :)
Don't worry that Lucy is becoming a Daddy's girl. When you bring home your big girl, you are going to have an immediate shopping buddy. Much bonding will be done!

jan ranger said...

hilarious.....

thanks for the smiles :)

p.s. 8 days and counting...

Mom Of Many said...

Emmy's going to a lock-in with high schoolers..the rest of us are going to a Wii party- wanna' join us? Come on!! It's right across the road (literally)! Then we can build a fire (inside silly - it's like 15 degrees out)...

Miss you too...

xo

Holly said...

I really don't normally embarrassingly laugh out loud, and LOL really means laughing on the inside, right? But your posts are seriously hilarious, and I am seriously LOL'ing!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...