Hello, friends.
As I was preparing to post another segment of my Kitchen Series,
I started researching my blog just a bit, looking for nuggets of ideas from the past.
(What does it say about me that my research was limited to my own writings?)
Anyway, I found the post below from 2009.
And I laughed.
It has absolutely nothing to do with kitchen things.
But I found it peculiar that I was so scatter-brained, even long before I was a mother of six.
So that left me thinking that I have apparently become numb to the dumb things I do NOW.
At least back then I eventually became aware of my mishaps.
Now my mishaps are called,
A Normal Day in the Life of Lori (aka, Lori is Clueless).
I hope you can relate.
Surely I'm not in this alone.
**************
July 23, 2009
my brain...where has it gone?
I had a crazy-busy morning...
I dropped Nick off at the golf course, went to buy
a few things I forgot at WM yesterday,
went to the grocery store to buy the things
I couldn't get at WM,
stopped by our local peach orchard to buy
peaches and tomatoes.
Got home,
put groceries away and threw together
some lunch for Lucy.
Whew.
Just a little while later, Brenden said,
"Ummm, Mom, what's Lucy eating??"
Me,
"Turkey and chips, why?"
Bren,
"Her turkey is....blue."
What??!
Well, it sure is.
I tried to feed my baby girl moldy, blue turkey.
I dropped Nick off at the golf course, went to buy
a few things I forgot at WM yesterday,
went to the grocery store to buy the things
I couldn't get at WM,
stopped by our local peach orchard to buy
peaches and tomatoes.
Got home,
put groceries away and threw together
some lunch for Lucy.
Whew.
Just a little while later, Brenden said,
"Ummm, Mom, what's Lucy eating??"
Me,
"Turkey and chips, why?"
Bren,
"Her turkey is....blue."
What??!
Well, it sure is.
I tried to feed my baby girl moldy, blue turkey.
And if that isn't enough to prove that my brain is
on half-a-cell...
I was on the phone with my friend Angela,
while playing with Lucy in her room.
All of a sudden the door bell rang.
By the time I got off the phone & out of Lucy's room and
to the door,
I saw a notice stuck to our door as the Fed Ex guy was
driving away.
I dashed out the door, flailing my arms
frantically and running down
my driveway trying to get his attention.
Because you see,
the thought of NOT getting whatever it
was he was here to deliver,
just made me crazy!
He finally saw me....
and with a look of sheer terror on his face,
he rolled his window down.
Me,
"I'm here, I'm here!! Do you have a package for me?!"
FX guy,
"Ummm, yes ma'am...I left it on your porch."
Me,
"Oh. *giggle, giggle* Ok, thank you."
Humiliation rushing.
And so he did....left it right there, smack by my door.
It's a wonder I didn't trip over it.
My brain, where has it gone?
Ship it back to me if you find it, would you?
You might want to use UPS.
1 comment:
OH LORI, WHAT TIMING TO READ THIS...I AM 67 AND SOMEWHAT ADD. TODAY I TRIED TO DO TOO MUCH...WENT TO "CHUCKS" MARKET TO GET INGREDIENTS FOR A BRUSSEL SPROUT DISH FOR OUR APT. BUILDING CHRISTMAS DINNER AT 4:00 PM. WELL , HERE IN WA.STATE IT IS 4:11 PM AND I AM IN OUR PUBLIC LIBRARY CRYING AND TYPING MY STORY TO YOU!!..I CAN'T REMEMBER THINGS, EVEN IF I HAVE A LIST, I DON'T ALWAYS GET EVERYTHING....SO I WENT TO LIBRARY AT 10:00 THIS AM TO DO SOME FAMILY RESEARCH....NO CAR SO I HAVE TO USE THE BUS SYSTEM...HALF MY TIME IS SPENT WAITING FOR THE D---BUS..I GET HOME AND START "STEMMING" BRUSSELS SPROUTS, THEN I LOOK AT THE CLOCK AND ITS CLOSE TO 3..MY HANDS ARE SHAKING I DON'T DO WELL UNDER STRESS...APT OVEN IS TOO SMALL FOR MY TWO ROASTING PANS SO I PILE THEM ON TOP OF EACH OTHER...GO TO MAKE THE BASALMIC VINIGRETTE SYRUPY THING TO POUR ON THE ROASTED SPROUTS, AND CAN'T FIND THE D---VINEGAR...I HAD FORGOTTEN IT!!!....AS I BRING OUT THE PANS FROM OVEN MY HAND HIT THE HOT PAN AND I SPILLED HOT BRUSSELS SPROUTS ALL OVER MY SMALL KITCHEN FLOOR AND INTO THE DISHTOWEL DRAWER THAT HAPPENED TO BE OPEN....I JUST LEFT THE WHOLE FRIGGIN MESS, PUT A SIGN ON MY DOOR THAT I HAD A "FOOD AND BRAIN" MALFUNCTION AND HITCHED A BUS BACK TO THE LIBRARY.TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THIS COMPUTER GOING SO HAD TO ASK THE ASSISTANT...SHE COMES OVER HERE AND TELLS ME, "YOU NEED TO HIT THE MOUSE FASTER!!!"...THATS THE STORY OF MY LIFE...I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FAST...I WANTED TO TRIP HER!!!! I KNOW I WILL LAUGH LATER , BUT NOW WHEN I GO HOME , I'VE GOT ALL THAT MESS TO CLEAN UP AND FELLOW RESIDENTS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!....MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE..mm, vancouver,wa.
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