Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Dysfunctional Disorganization (the deli guy's perfect life)

Reasons #1...and #2 (sorry) that I will never be a once-a-month grocery shopper.


I was just at Walmart yesterday, with a big ol' long list.
Come this morning, I realize we are completely out of toilet paper.
So stupid.

Welcome to my life of dysfunctional disorganization!

And really, it's no wonder because when I have the little I & L with me,
I get questions like,

"So, Mom, why do we have to help care for needy children anyway?"

"What's the name of the guy who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

"Okay, Mom...I get that a man and woman get married and have a baby...
but exactly HOW does that happen?  I mean, after they get married,
how does a skinny lady end up fat and pregnant?"
(I got that one yesterday, just as we were pulling into the driveway.
Almost made it home scott-free without a sex question.  Dang.)

And that's just a sampler of the plethora of questions I get when
we head out to grocery shop.

I find myself wanting to trade lives with the guy behind the deli counter, honestly.
Everything about him seems so glamorous and perfect.
Hair net and all.
All his ducks are seemingly neatly in a row.

So until further notice, I will continue to my very distracted three-times-a-week shopping stops.

What I'm really saying is, send help NOW.

And toilet paper, please.


Vicky said...

I need stock in toilet paper and a service that delivers it to my home!

At least I don't get "those" questions at this point!

Holly said...

Oh, wonderful Lori...just so you know, I don't always read blogs every day anymore, and when I do, I don't always comment. But I ALWAYS love you, girlfriend. You just know how to make me chuckle. :)

Chris said...

I'm trying to be a twice a month shopper and today I realized that we are out of icecream and my shopping day was just this past Fri....at least we don't "need" ice cream. BTW Sam's has Huge cases of TP...it's the way to go!

Patty said...

I feel your pain. I thought I had a great solution when I started buying the jumbo mega Costco bundle of toilet paper that would last us forever. That backfired when I discovered I was allergic to it. Talk about a pain in the rear ;)

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