Thursday, July 11, 2013

a dysfunctional day on the ranch

I wish I could convey to you the crazy pond of dysfunctional motherhood that I'm swimming in.
It's surreal, really.
And as much as I'd like to blame it on all the people around me,
it's all me, I'm afraid.

It's just that:
1.  I can't handle the never-ending laundry.
2.  The people here just want to eat.  Every day. I hate that!
3.  The floors, they never stay clean.  Who needs that?  Not me!
4.  My job, the pay is so low.  Let's strike!

But enough about my positive side.



Here's what we made the most of today on the ranch:

I discovered the fine art of cut-offs.
I mean, I've done this for my kids for years,
but never for me.
But look:


I think I look positively stunning in my knee-length Daisy Dukes.
Hooray for re-purposing!




I turned on the TV this afternoon for a brief moment of solitude,
only to find the channel on this:
A cattle auction.


A CATTLE AUCTION!
on some kind of cowboy station that K-Man had been watching late last night.
Naked bovine everywhere.
I was horrified.


Later on...



I let Isaiah use chop sticks for lunch.
And I tell you what, if this Chinese-Kansan calls them CHAP-sticks one more time
I'm going to revoke the Chinese clean away from him. 



A few hours later, our UPS man mysteriously left us a package at the end of our driveway.
I think he must have been sort afraid to have me sign for it or anything,
lest my crazy be unleashed on him.
Because it was filled with our homeschool books!
The kids were beyond thrilled.
No really, they were!


Hip-hip-HOORAY!
I can already taste the savory flavor of a structured routine.



And look at these two.
They dove right in with both feet.
How adorable and obnoxious.
Don't worry, they'll outgrow those over-achiever attitudes before long.
I'll put my money on...let's see, September 23rd.



Then after all of that, I made a very bland pork loin for supper.
Heavy on the bland.
Just my way of weaning my family off of my flavor-filled goodness.
You know, so they don't take me for granted or anything.



And on that note, I have dishes to do, children to nurture, a husband to pamper,
and some sanity to recover.








6 comments:

Chris said...

If I didn't pay so much for school tuition i'd buy books for Faith to do over the summer. She'd LOVE it...she's the kid who erases her school papers so she can do them again over the weekend. They are just trying to prove the prejudicial crowds correct...they are just naturally smart.
And on the never ending laundry and feeding, I feel your pain.

Gigi said...

Ha! I love your humor. I totally understand. The monotony can make a person crazy! The never ending cycle slowly erodes your brain. :) Need to break up the routine, before I go completely bonkers.

Karin said...

Hahahahaha...love it. So glad I'm not the only one starting to lose the loving feeling about summer. It's been so rainy and we've been cooped up together and everyone is getting on everyone else's nerves. Our school books are here, too, and I was tempted to let the kids use them, but then I would have to listen to, "How do you do this,Mom?" Gah! Not.ready.for.that.yet.

Vicky said...

Loved this! K-man needs to take you away for a few days!

Tesseraemum said...

HA! Our books haven't arrived yet but I can guarantee Isaac and Olivia will NOT be diving in. They Just fall over the boxes and pretend they don't see them.
Love the cattle auction! There is a farm on the way to the baseball/softball fields that has a sign saying "Black Angus Freezer Beef". The poor freezer beef is grazing right next to the sign! Isaac yells out the window "Stop eating and run you fools! It's a trap!" Every single time we go by. Did I mention that we are having tournaments...we have gone by EVERY SINGLE DAY the last 2 weeks. Did I mention it was funny the FIRST TIME!! Sheri

Katy said...

My trick for clean floors (okay maybe not sanitary clean but visually clean). Let the dog in. One time the dog even ate my dirt pile I had just swept up!

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