Thursday, June 27, 2013

my public pool observations

Okay, so here's today's blog post.

If you're a close local friend of mine, you know that we've had a gigantic above-ground pool for the last decade or so, give or take a year or two.  But for reasons I won't go into now, we decided to dismantle it and be done with it.  Sigh.  It was sad, actually, because truth had a ton of life left in it.  But, it costs a lot of money to keep a pool up and running, and we just couldn't swing it anymore.  But that's okay.

All that to say, I took the kids to a local public pool yesterday.

And here are my observations:

1.  My apprehension about showing my bent-beer-can-body in public proved to be unfounded.  I was a supermodel compared to exactly half++ of the pool population.  (I do NOT drink beer, just for the record.)

2.  I am clearly out of the loop, tattoo-wise.  And really, I'm okay with that.

3.  It grosses me out that so many bodies gather in one place to "bathe".  I can't even continue to think about it right now.  It's sick.

4.  I am whole-heartedly against sizzling oneself in the sun, coated with chemical-laden sunscreen.  Yet, my recent purchase of natural products to make homemade sunscreen remain in their package, on a safe shelf in my bathroom.

5.  What I'm saying is, I have a sunburn.  It's not horrible.  But, it's pink and a tad uncomfortable.  Don't lecture me, I simply traded one bad thing for another.  I will be golden-brown in no time, as I am every summer.  I just wish I had whipped up some of my homemade goodness beforehand.

6.   I make no apologies about the fact that I've always been a bikini girl.  I know, I know.  Modesty and such, I know.  I get that, I totally do.  And frankly, I agree, fully.  But, having said that, I'm a bikini girl.  And I really don't care.  And after seeing some of the things I saw yesterday, I WAS QUITE modest, in comparison.

7.  My little children have no concept of time in the water.

8.  I could have left them there until next Tuesday and they'd be none the wiser.  And happy as clams.

9.  God bless whoever put air-conditioning in cars.

10.  I will never go back to the public pool ever again.  Actually, I will.  I have no choice.

The End.


Anonymous said...

I agree with you on every single one. You are so funny.

Karin said...

Oh my gosh... I think we should do a round robin in the blog world about this subject because I was just thinking some of the same things!!! SO GROSS!!! What is up with all the tatoos?
Too bad we can go to the same pool so we could be super models together. bahahahahahahaha

Tesseraemum said...

Around here the stars have to align just right for me to get into the pool! The temperature has to be at least 100 for a solid week (I don't like cold pool water.) Unfortunately Audrey has informed me this year that the splash park is no longer fun. I LOVE the splash park. You can cool off without wearing a suit and its FREE! AND there isn't a snack bar!!

Vicky said...

God put people like me at the pool so fabulous people like you look even better! :-)

Seriously, I'm amazed at all those that were not taught modesty or if you are a FAT CHICK you shouldn't wear that! I know that isn't politically correct but since I'm a FAT CHICK I think it's okay!

Have fun in the public bathtub!

Lacy LevittMoore said...

Dying!!!! We go to the pool every year and I hate it every year. I agree on every single point. Hehe We pack a huge cooler, run to get a seat under the umbrella and I try to read and chat with friends while the kids play, whine that they are hungry and only want concession stand food and then we pack up and head home 4 rest periods later (that is my limit. lol! I can never believe that my children BEG to do this every single day.

Holly said...

I simply love you. :) Bikini and all. :)

dawn said...

Yay, I just found your blog. I laughed so hard when I read this post, it is all so true so horribly horribly true.

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