Day 1....gettin' real

Well, I could sugar-coat this and tell you
that our first full day home was wonderful,
and it was, BUT....there is a flip-side.

I was determined to stay home all day without
leaving the house because...that's what all the books
say to do. And I agree with that totally and that's what
we did, however, it made for a long, awkward day.
When we were in China, we were constantly on the go
so the "awkward" moments weren't so bad
because there were people around us almost constantly.
Plus, we were in her culture...with familiar
things all around her.

Now, Shu Li isn't speaking much English...
not like she did in the beginning. I think her confidence
has dropped now that she's been around real English-speaking
people, instead of just in class at school.
Plus...
I sense that she is grieving a lot.

With a younger child,
it's easy to hug and kiss...comfort and nurture.
With an older child,
it's so different. Though we do try to be affectionate
often, and she does tolerate it, I think it is
uncomfortable to her.
We try to give her her space...but yet not leave
her alone much.

I think the bottom line is right now,
it feels very much like we have a visitor in our
house, as many of you had told me it would be.
And she no doubt feels the same way.

I plan to start giving her things to do around the house,
starting tomorrow. She needs to feel like she belongs
and I think that will help.
Plus, even though I had planned on taking a couple
weeks off before we started homeschooling,
I think it's best if we start right away.
It will give us something to work on and give us more
opportunities for bonding.

Oh and Lucy isn't responding well to her right now.
I think the language barrier has caught
her off guard, even though I tried to explain to
her all about it. But, she's 3.
She refused to sleep in her room with Shu Li last
night, which was difficult. I'm not sure how that
made Shu Li feel but I just tried to explain that Lucy
just wanted to sleep with us for the night.
I plan to try to get the girls to engage in each other
by playing together on Lucy's level.

All of this has reminds me that the love that Christ has
for us is so unconditional. He is so gracious
to be patient and kind to us....even when we don't respond
to Him. He never gives up on us. He yearns
to have a deep, personal relationship with us.

The boys and Shu Li putting a puzzle together.

A good moment with the girls.
And yes, that would be Lucy in her new
Chinese outfit with part of a Halloween
costume around her neck (a pumpkin leaf).

Brenden setting up Shu Li on Facebook!

Oh and one last and important thing!
The name issue has come up again. I asked Shu Li
what she wants us to call her....Katie or Shu Li.
She tried to use her translator to tell us
something but she couldn't find the right words.
Bless her heart.
She was chatting with one of her recently adopted friends
whose family named her Katie.
I'm starting to wonder if she doesn't want that name
now since her friend has it.
I still feel determined to let her choose (we have given
her 2 English names to choose from or keep her
Chinese name),
because...no one wants a name thrown at them
that they don't like...especially at age 13.
We will see.
But for now, we continue to call her Shu Li.
And for all my family and friends,
I would like you to call her that as well, for now.

Please continue to pray for our transition.
It is difficult. But not as difficult
as I imagined that it might be. Shu is very
compliant and goes with the flow.
I just want her to feel like she belongs.