Thursday, December 18, 2008

Warning! TMI!!

Let me take just a second to say how much I appreciate your comments....though they are few and often far between, I love hearing from those of you brave enough to jot down a quick little blurb to me. You always make me smile, and often leave me laughing out loud. The only person who consistantly leaves me sweet & kind words regarding my latest posts is my mother but it's always via email because she has yet to figure out how to successfully leave her thoughts on my blog. Bless her heart!

Yesterday my sweet and adorable husband, whom I love and greatly respect, (just in case my social worker should ask any of you) was home from work for the day. I jumped at the opportunity to get out of the house all by myself, without even having a pap smear OR root canal appointment. Imagine my excitement! So I headed to the stores to start my Christmas shopping. Since lunch time was approaching I thought I would treat myself to a yummy sandwich and salad at Panera before I did my retail damage. Yep, I got to eat ALL. BY. MYSELF! It was delightful. On my way out, I thought, what the heck...I'll get a latte' to have in hand as I'm feverishly buying for my loved ones. (Merry Christmas to YOU, I said to myself)

Before I was even out the door my Dr.'s office called. That just is never get a PHONE CALL from the doctor right after your BIG appointment. The little smiley face post card in the mail a few weeks later, saying "everything is A-OK down there" is what every girl wants...not a phone call. I sorta panicked but hoped for the best. Turns out that my urine test was "skewed" (of course it you recall, when I took that little test, I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for 12 hours...they probably thought it was maple syrup for cryin' out loud) so they needed me to come back in. Well super duper, I'll be there in a flash! Afterall, this shopping stuff can wait, I've got a whole week before Christmas so there's really no rush. Phhht.

I'm debating here on how much info is too much to tell you.....hmmm....I'll try to keep it from grossing you out so here goes. 'Everyone knows what a "clean catch" is, right? Well, I didn't see any "wipes" in the bathroom to "prep/clean" the area, if you will. So, I figured I didn't need to. (whistle, whistle) I did the job...including, peeing on my fingers. As I went to put the lid on it...I saw the little "wet nap" know, like you get at the BBQ joint. Oh my stars. Why didn't they tell me it was there? So what now? I figured that being a 40 year old post-two-pregnancy gal I could muster up a little more so I dumped the first batch out, "cleaned" (suddenly feeling hungry for ribs) and started over, and again, peed on my fingers. (Note to self: Make appointment to get eyes checked) **SIGH** I took it back to the front desk....yes, I said FRONT desk and got out of there as quick as I could. Not telling them my dirty little secret. I immediately tried to call my BFF/RN friend Angela to ask her if what I did was completely going to mess up my "sample" but I couldn't get ahold of her. Rats! So, we shall see. Wouldn't it be weird if the only thing that delayed our adoption was my peeing mishaps? **I did talk to Angela later in the evening and basically, she just laughed at me. That's my sweet friend for ya.

If you are reading this now, you obviously weren't too offended by my very-personal musings of the day. If that wasn't enough for you, be sure to stay tuned for my thoughts on my upcoming mamogram appointment.

And now for a few pictures....thankfully, completely unrelated to today's topic.

Sticker-Mania continues at our house...and K is alway's Lucy's victim, an easy target I guess.

Berry inherited Lucy's Chinese outfit that we bought in China that fit her for about two weeks. :( And it appears that Beary will outgrow it soon as well!
And are you ready for the sweetest picture ever??

Oh my goodness...


Lisa said...

Just to let you know that I love reading your blog each day. It truly brightens my day. I hope your family has a Merry Christmas!

Lisa from Ohio

Carla said...

Oh, how funny! I think we have all been there, done that... Well, maybe! :) I'm so glad you treated yourself to an early Christmas gift, enjoying every last drop of your latte'.

Thanks for keeping us updated on the adoption. I just know things will go smoothly for you - reading Linn's blog is a great testimony of how much God really cares for the orphans and will orchestrate the process perfectly!


Nancy said...

You are hysterical, my friend. Add this to your book!!!

Anonymous said...

Now I will laugh every time I go to the doctor for THAT appointment!
BTW, That is the sweetest picture ever. Hope you're having a great day!

The Bachville Times said...

Lori, Lori, Lori - you are an absolute HOOT!! Have been there and done all of that before!

Thanks for the visuals you give all of us with your creative writing. You have GOT to write a book - it would be so inspirational.

I needed a lift today - thanks!


Sarah the Kool Kid said...

Wow, Lori. That info honestly was rather unexpected, but hilariousy funny! So, that last picture was stinking adorable. I want to frame it and hang it on my wall. It's so cute! Well, thanks for the laughs. See you on Sunday!

Jean said...

This is am awesome post!! Too funny!! Thanks for sharing and I am glad the pics HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE POST!!
Blessings to you funny girl!

Susan said...

Very funny!!

Holly said...


Rachel said...

That IS a darling picture! Loved reading through your posts - found you through Linny & DW!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...