my friend, kristy!

Hey guys!

Do me a favor, would ya?

Swing over to my friend Kristy's blog

and prayerfully consider contributing to their

adoption fundraiser.

I've known Kristy since our first adoption (Lucy),

and she's been a dear sweet friend ever since.

They are getting down to the wire to raise

funds for the adoption of their

little guy, Nate.

They could really use your help, big or small!

Click HERE to go take a peek!  

brownies and little rascals

Happy Thursday to you all!

As I sit here,
Brenden is in the kitchen making brownies.
And I'm way nervous about that.
K-man is reading an ad in a magazine to me about mole removal.
(As in, the rodent).
Macy is lying quietly on the couch.
Nick is helping Brenden (mainly just moral support).
And Lucy is mooching chocolate chips from her baking brothers.

There.
That sums up what's happening at this moment around here.

Ok so, Brenden got his fingerprints yesterday!
Yeah, baby!

We walked in and kindly asked the guy in charge
if he could possibly squeeze us in...
to which he seemed completely annoyed that we would dare
be so presumptuous.
His exact words were,
"Well....we might be able to do it...but you'll have to wait
until ALL these people who are already here
get their prints done."

Alrighty.
I turned around to take a second glance at just
how many people here were ahead of us.

3.

Yes, so needless to say, we got in within about 20 minutes.

Yay!!!

And today we got K-man's passport/visa.

We are SO set.

And as far as I can see,
we are done with all OUR work for these adoptions.
Hahaha...well, except RAISING them.

It has always cracked me up how women complain about labor pains.
Are you kidding me?
That is nothing compared to shaping and molding these little rascals
into half-way decent human beings.

Alright then.

I gotta go.
Lucy has gone overboard on the chocolate chips...
Brenden is sitting in the her bean bag chair licking the brownie bowl.
And now Lucy is crying profusely because he
won't share.

I really gotta go.

the importance of commas {and TA coming soon!}

I'm so happy to tell you that we are officially waiting
for our TA.

Travel Approval for you civilians.

Our Article 5's were picked up yesterday.
Which was actually Monday night for us.
Tuesday for China.
Got it?

So now it is said to be 2-5 weeks til TA.

Two to Five weeks.

Do you mind praying for TWO, please?

Then we travel, shortly thereafter.
And by we, I mean my dear husband.

I have high and mighty plans while he's gone getting
our new fellas.

For one,
I want to make and freeze enough meals to last
us until February of 2025.
It's cute how you think I'm kidding.

Alright, so we all know that isn't going to happen.

But I'll try to get enough stocked away to last us
until...mid-June of this year, anyway.

And I have an embarrassing admission to tell you.
I haven't sent either boys a care package.

Stop it!

I know.

This is how I roll, people.
Hahaha, see how important commas are?
If I hadn't inserted that little gem,
it would read,
This is how I roll people.
Isn't that funny?
Seriously though, I don't really roll people.
That's why I used a comma.

I digress.

So anyway, I sent the orphanage an email with
pics for little Isaiah Jack to see.
I'm told they're super cool with stuff like that.
I'll let ya know if I hear back from them.

And as for Elijah Andrew
(whose name may change, much to my chagrin),
he knows about us and has seen our faces,
and we did send that t-shirt he's wearing, via another family.

But I joked with Macy tonight that by the 5th & 6th child,
this is just how things work.
She thought that was hilarious.

And speaking of Macy,
I do need to do a post regarding her progress.
And my progress.
Because it turns out that she's made me a better person.

So that's the latest, my friends.

Please don't forget to use your commas wisely.

friday post {creative title, huh?}

Hello, friends.

I don't have a whole lot to blog about today.

EXCEPT that we got our NVC letter yesterday!
Woo!
In simple terms, that means we are another step WAY closer to
traveling. But we're still teetering on that fine line
of getting there and back in plenty of time for Brenden's graduation.
I mean, I definitely think we'll (and by we I mean my dear husband)
be back in time...it's just that it may be only a week before.
That's not much time.
I'd love for the boys to be home and "settled" just a tad longer than
that if possible.

Anyway, I'm praying for mid-April.
It's very doable.
ESPECIALLY since I know of a great big God who
is incredibly good with time lines.


And in other news:

Brenden turns 18 tomorrow.

Dang it.

We're having a roller skating party, at his request.
It will be a blast!
And all his friends will ooooh, and aaaah at my awesome skating skills.
I did grow up in the 70s, you know.

OH, and speaking of Brenden...
his place of employment,
Dairy Queen,
burned down.

Well, not down...but destroyed totally on the inside.
Apparently someone left the fudge-warmer
on overnight.

Let that be a lesson to us all:
Never leave your fudge-warmer on.

adoption update

Well, I don't have a whole lot to report to you,
in fact,
all I can say is that we are still waiting on our LOA
for Little Mister
(Isaiah Jack)
(Already have it for our big boy)
(Elijah Andrew)

Sigh.

Our agency thought for sure it would come right away and
that our process would only be slowed down
by a few weeks.

Sigh.

It's looking like it will be longer.

We so wanted to get the boys in March.
Now I'm praying for April.

April would be good, yes?

I'm also praying for God's provision.
Adoption is expensive, as you know.
And two?
Ummm, wow.

But God!!

I plan to do some sort of fundraiser but not sure what yet.

But if by chance you are itching to donate,
Who am I to stop you?
:)

You can donate via Paypal and use my email address:
loriatjoyunspeakable@yahoo.com

If you want to.

And don't you worry.
If you do donate, I'll be sure to get you in on any future
giveaways or whatever I end up doing.

You guys are the best.

Now go have yourself a happy Monday!!

Be blessed and be a blessing!!

oh boy, oh boys!

Oh boy, OH BOY.

Or should I say, boys?

Yes indeed, I should.

Let's just cut right to the chase here.

We just received PA for a SECOND boy.

Wooo!

A cute, cute, cute little guy.

Head over to my private blog to see his pic.


EXCITING TIMES!

UPDATE:
If you aren't already a follower of my private blog, you will have to
go to Journey To Me to see pics.
Click on the "Friends and Family private journal login"
Username and password are
located UNDER my profile on the sidebar of THIS blog.

Oh, and
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

adoption is a joy {and often bitterly painful}

I'd love it if you would take a look at

this post.

It is a sobering look at the painful side of adoption.

The part that makes most people shy away
from it and cover their ears to what the Lord is calling
them to do.

Because it is hard.
It can....is....messy.
It's annoying.
It is frustrating.
It's painful.
It sometimes even ends the
exact opposite from what we ever dreamed.

But it's a command from the Lord, despite all of that.

Take a look at adoption in relation to the Gospel.

staggering stats

Hey, swing over to Patty's blog, would ya?

Her latest post is SO GOOD.

are they sisters?

For the first two years of being an adoptive family,
I am happy to say that we did
not receive any stupid, rude, or ridiculous questions about
our sweet little mix-raced family.

Two glorious years.

No doubt, the Lord knew I wasn't quite ready to handle
such questions.

But recently,
the inquiries and comments have started trickling in.

I truly try not to carry around a defensive attitude.
I hate that.
And I don't ever want to sound harsh with my reactions.

"Let your conversation be always full of grace,
and seasoned with salt,
so that you may know how to answer everyone."
Colossians 4:6


But seriously.

Do people not think?

Do I have a sign on my forehead saying:

"Please, feel free to say whatever you want in front of
my precious adopted girls."

The most common question as of late is
"Are they sisters?"

Yes.

Is what I always say.

Macy giggles at this.

If they press the issue, as if it's their right to figure out
our family dynamic,
I will sometimes say,
"They aren't biological but they are, very much, SISTERS."


And what about people who comment on the fact that
we should be adopting domestically, not internationally?

As if there is something Biblical about saving American children
over any others in the world?



Makes me crazy.

C.R.A.Z.Y.


To me that's like saying of my biological children,
"Why did you give birth to those kids?"

Huh?

Let's see....because they are who God gave us.

Period.

Adoption is no different.




So, to all of you who have no doubt dealt with these things
also...what the heck to you say?

Do you have neat and tidy answers?



Do tell.

adoption from an adult perspective

To expand a bit on our trip to Seattle,
and to answer some of your questions...

here's a bit more:

Yes, the girls only spoke to each other in Chinese,
with the exception of when the moms
were involved in the conversation.

Isn't that every teenage girl's dream...
to be able to chat with her friends openly without
Mom knowing what the heck they are
talking about?

The girls had a blast together but Macy assured
me that she was really happy to be home.
Love that!

I also wanted to talk a bit more about the adoption class
we went to, which was a panel of six adults who had
been adopted when they were young
(most were infants, one was a toddler).

It was REALLY good.
We were a tad fearful that we would walk away
depressed by negative stories
(which you can find a lot of online),
but it was quite the opposite.

Three of the adoptees were from domestic adoptions
and three were Korean.

A key element that they all zeroed in on was the fact
that it is SO important to keep the communications lines open
regarding their adoption.
Adoption was always a part of their life stories from the beginning.
Never did they recall a time that it was announced
to them that they were adopted or any new information that their
parents had withheld.
I think we all know how important that is
but it certainly helps to know that when we are talking
to our toddlers about being adopted
and they seem clueless as to what we are talking about,
it is in fact weaving a strong fabric that will later be
so essential.
And along those lines,
keeping our child's story consistent is also key, according to
the panel of adoptees.
Being honest is so very important.
That means when we don't know the answer
to a question about our child's life before us, just say so.
It's perfectly fine to say, "I don't know."
Don't make up
some flowery story in an effort to make them *feel* good.

They also said how vitally important it was for them to
be connected with
(even if it was just a couple times a year)
other adoptees, particularly with those who share their
heritage.

They also stressed that they deeply love their adoptive families.
So much so that each of them got very
emotional as they spoke of them.
It was deeply moving and very encouraging.

They shared with us moments of the discrimination they received
at various times
(interestingly, it was other Koreans who most often gave them a hard time).
They told little stories that stuck in their minds
of some of the very stupid things people would say to them.

Oh how people say STUPID things.

As much as we would like to believe it isn't going to happen
in our neck of the woods,
it will.
We gotta be prepared and help our children deal with that.


I suppose none of this is new information to those of us who have had
a good amount of education regarding adoption.
But it's very encouraging to have it reinforced and to know
that it really does make a difference.

I'll end my ramblings there.

Hope y'all have a happy Friday!

exposing the truths of adoption

I took the girls to Awana's at the Chinese church last night.

It was fun, as usual.

As the girls were playing (it was carnival night),
one of the other moms approached
me and started asking about adoption.

She very boldly told me how brave I was, having FOUR children!
Her friend,
who was close by, listening intently,
chimed in and said to her,
"What are you talking about, you have four children!"

She quickly said, "Yes, but I didn't choose to have four."

Well,
I could see her heart and knew she meant that
of course,
she loves all of her children and WANTS
each of them...

What she was saying was that we
set out to add to our family...on purpose.

She then began telling me that adoption is really
only for rich people...right??

And that you have to have a high stature to adopt, right?

Me, stopped.dead.in.tracks.

Wow, this was an opportunity I had been looking for...
God has put on my heart to help the
sweet people in this church to fully realize
the orphan issue in this world...and in their home country.

I assured her that we are not rich.
At least not in the way she meant.
And I also assured her that my husband was
not a judge or of high stature (as she suggest he might be).

She was pretty shocked to hear that
my hubby is an electrician...and I'm a stay-at-home-mom.

I quickly told her of the resources available to
help families adopt...
but mostly,
I stressed how God WILL provide for those
He's called to serve Him in this way.

It really left me wondering
how many Christians think this way...
that adoption is only for
infertile couples...
for rich families....
for families of "high stature"....

I recently saw a statistic saying that 34% of Christians
think about adopting...
but only 1% actually do it.

You gotta be kidding me.

What if....
100% of Christians thought (PRAYED) about adopting
and perhaps somewhere around 50%
actually did??

I wonder what the orphan count of the world
would be then.

Certainly not 147 million....
as it is now.

adoption excuses dissected...then put aside

As promised,
here is my big blog post that I said was coming.

My heart is still so full from that life-changing
day at the orphanage and from holding
the sweet babies at The Morning Star Family Home.
I hope I can convey what God has put on my heart.
Please don't turn away if you think....
or you know, that adoption isn't something God has
called you to do.
Perhaps you are right.
Hopefully though, you will be more inspired to do what God
has called you to do, whatever that may be.

I had told you to set aside all your excuses not to adopt.
Well, let's not do that quite yet...
let's take a moment to dissect some of those excuses, ok?

You may say:

*Good for you for adopting, but it's not for me.
Are you sure?
Have you REALLY prayed with an open heart...
and listened for God's response?
Please spend some un-rushed, dedicated time communing
with the Lord on this, would you?
Don't be afraid of His answer.

*I would love to adopt, but I can't afford it.
*I don't have the patience.
*I don't think I could love an adopted child like I do my bio kids.
*I don't have time for another child...I'm so busy!
Ok, I clump all of those together because I have one great
answer for all of them:

God's provision.

Let me ask you,

why are we here?

I mean, are we here on earth simply to exist...or survive?
If so,
then God's promise to meet all of our needs would
end at food, water, and shelter...right?
After all, that's all we really need to simply survive.

But...
we aren't here merely to survive.
We are here to fulfill God's purpose in each of
our lives.

So if God has a purpose and a plan for us....
wouldn't fulfilling that purpose
have needs in order for it all to happen?

So, let's think outside the box here and realize that
God meeting our needs INCLUDES giving us
ALL that is required to fulfill His plan for us.
~Money to adopt...
~Patience
~Plenty of love
~Prioritized lifestyle
~And much, much more

Or maybe your excuse is..

*I'm too old to adopt.
Well, maybe so.
Why not find a young family who needs
help with financing their adoption?
But,
I do know of two couples who are in
their early 60s who are getting
ready to travel to adopt.

*I don't want to start all over with a baby.
Ok, how about an older child?


*I don't want the baggage that comes with an older child.
OK, then how about a baby with "special needs"?

The other excuse you may have (and I don't
say this with any condemnation because it was
very real in my own situation),

*But I'm stricken with fear.

Listen, I'm so with you on this.
But yet, I'm not.

You see,
if we look at it from a Biblical perspective,
we understand that
GOD IS LOVE.
And perfect love casts out ALL FEAR.
And if we are disciplined believers,
we know to take every thought captive and make
it obedient to Christ...
Who, is love...who, casts out ALL FEAR.
Make sense?

I remember when we first started the process
to adopt Lucy.
At that time, I was NOT steeped in the adoption
community like I am now. I had NO connections
to other families...no clue of all the blogs I
could read for inspiration.
It was basically just K-man, me, and the Lord.
I would OFTEN have thoughts of
things that put fear into my heart that would
leave me full of doubt.
Finally,
while driving down the road one day,
the Lord told me clearly that he would NOT guide me by fear.
So if fear wasn't coming from Him to show me
that we shouldn't adopt...
then it was most certainly coming from the enemy.
Well now,
that turned things around for me in an instant.
So,
taking those thoughts captive became
a daily (even hourly) practice.
And let me tell you,
it made a HUGE difference.
When I would turn those thoughts over to the Lord,
I would receive warm encouragement and
very real confirmation.
Over and over and over and over and over.

The Lord NEVER ceased to meet my every need
along the way.

Having said all that, I do realize that it's not easy.
We are only a couple weeks into our second adoption,
so I don't say any of this as if our story has
a neat and tidy ending.

In fact, while in Ch*na,
I received an email about a dear friend whose family
had decided to disrupt their older child adoption,
after one year with her.
They are a good Christian family.
They tried hard...really hard.
Sadly, it just didn't work.
Perhaps God used them as a vessel to get this
sweet girl to her true forever family.

My point?
Adoption isn't always pretty.
In fact, at some point(s), it WILL be downright hard,
stressful, messy and mind-boggling.

But by God's grace, we need to press on.

But trust me,
there are so many moments of JOY!

If He has called you,
He will lead you and give you ALL
that is required to make it happen.

So now,
putting all the excuses
behind us, I ask you again:

Has God called you to adopt?



The now empty bed (in a full orphanage)
of a former orphan
(our Shu Li)...