my plague

So, the other day I noticed two little red bumps on my face.

They weren't zits, but I wasn't sure what they were.

I put some essential oils on them and didn't think much more about it.

But over the coming days,

the red bumps slowly morphed into a monster, of sorts.

No, not of sorts, it was a monster.

It IS a monster.

By Friday, it seemed better...but I felt I should go to the doctor, just in case.

But I didn't.

I slapped some make-up over the whole thing and went about my busy day.

(I'm pretty stubborn when it comes to taking time for such things.)

(And I sure as heck didn't want to waste $20 on a copay!)

(Throughout the week I had been trying this, that, and EVERYTHING I could think of to make it go away.)

Saturday morning I felt like it was better.

But by mid-day, I was a swollen, miserable train wreck.

And as I was pouring myself into packaging up a big pastry order,

tears were flowing and I announced that I needed to go to the urgent care office.

K-Man hopped into action and helped me finish up everything,

and out the door we went.

(Nick stayed home with the kiddos.)

Thank GOODNESS we aren't in the thick of flu season,

so the doctors' office was practically empty.

I got right in and the cute little nurse had a look of compassionate horror on her face

as she talked to me about what was going on.

She was so cute.  Without any facial deformities.  I was so jealous.

The first thing they ordered was an eye test to make sure my vision was okay,

because the swelling was pushing my eye half-closed.

But as always, my vision was amazing.

AMAZING!

The nurse was amazed by my amazing vision.

She said that.

So, I had that going for me.

After the final exam,

the Dr. prescribed antibiotics and mega-doses of oral steroids.

(Two things I try to avoid, dang it all.)

And one of the side effects warnings was,

"May cause a feeling of whirling motion."

Well, that sounded so fun!

It was the glimmer of hope that I needed. 

Anyway, long story short, it is assumed that I have some kind of bug or spider bite.

I have no idea when or where this happened.

The thing is, I don't ever get bitten by anything!

Mosquitoes despise me, as do chiggers.  They avoid me like the plague!

And now I have a plague.

So anyway, all that said,

It is now Sunday morning, I was hoping to wake up looking and feeling a million

times better...but here I am, my eye is still swelled up, as is my entire left cheek.

But the redness has subsided, so that's good.

I look like a Ringling Brothers' circus freak, y'all.

I would post a picture, but I just can't bring myself to do so.

The shred of vanity and dignity I am clinging to simply won't allow it!

It's bad enough that my little kids keep walking by me,

taking a semi-close look without trying to look directly at me.

It was so sweet though,

as I was tucking Lucy and Isaiah into bed,

I started to pray with them, as usual, and Isaiah quickly interrupted me and said,

"Mama, can I pray?"

Of course!

And he wasted no time asking Jesus to help me feel better.

And he thanked Jesus for being able to go to church.

He's such a good little guy!

If you think of it, please pray for me.

I'm really in a miserable state and will be so very grateful when this is healed.

Thanks, friends!

OH, and one last thing, I've yet to experience the whirling motion.

And I'm none too happy about that.

Whatever. 

Maybe I should take my next dose with a glass of wine.

Oh, never mind!

hoola hoopin'

When cuteness collides with,

Oh-my-word-that's-just-embarrassing.

I'll let you be the judge of which is which.

photo-shoot {pretty please}

Dear Macy,

The next time you decide to whip out the camera
for an impromptu photo-shoot...

would you pretty please make sure....

that Mama has been through hair, make-up

and wardrobe first?


Oh, and whatever plastic surgery is available at time.


Thanks a bunch.

Love,
Mom

a conversation {husband and wife}

So as a stay-at-home mom,
my biggest weakness (and there are many) is to procrastinate.
There are two main areas where this is a problem.

Let's review:

1. Anything administrative (paying bills, hubby's bookkeeping, etc.)
I hate doing those things.
I hate them with all of my heart.
I would rather be milking my chickens than sitting down flipping through papers.
And don't be silly, I don't milk my chickens.
But I'd rather.

2. Cleaning bathrooms.
I think this is self-explanatory.
I hate it.
And it shows.

So anyway, BOTH of these areas NEED to be taken care of
immediately.
As in, yesterday.
Actually, the day before yesterday.

So tonight I sat down and wrote out a schedule for myself
for tomorrow.
I decided to treat my day as if I worked in an office or something.

And then I said to my dear husband:

"Honey, I made a list of things I MUST do tomorrow...
please hold me to them.
Hold me accountable, okay?

Him:
"OK."

Me:
"No, really...you need to tell me I will get fired on the spot
if I don't get my list done."

Him:
"OK."

Me:
"Seriously, get tough with me and tell me that I am replaceable."

Him:
"Wait...did you say I can replace you?"

Me:
"Yes."

Him:
"Really?"

Me:
"Yes. Please replace me, please."

Him:
"OK."



Problem solved.

See, young girls, this is how you hold a good marriage together.
Or something like that.

proverbs 31 woman {and her vodka}

My weekend was c.r.a.z.y.

And packed full of emotions.
Dang it, why do we have to be so attached to our children?

Leaving Brenden at school was so stinkin' hard.

This was the last pic I took as we drove away.
The freshmen loaded onto 8 big buses to do a service
project in Joplin, MO to help clean up from
the tornado.

I can't think of a better way to kick off a new season in life
than to serve others.
I love, love, love, love, love this school!

Not five minutes after we left, B texted me and said,
"Do you miss me yet?"

I said,
"Yes, I do, you turd!"

Name calling and levity kept me from bursting into tears.
Again.

I told him it wasn't too late for us to turn around and come
back to get him...that he could come home with us
and play video games in our basement for
the rest of his life.

He said, no, that the internet at school was better.

Turd.



Anyway, life at the ranch goes on...

I finally got around to milling some flour with my new grain mill...

Are you as excited as I am about this?
I knew you were.

Hard winter white wheat berries.

I know what you're thinking....wow, Lori really is grain-smart.
Why, yes I am.
Actually, not really.
But I pretend.

Ain't it purty?

And boy did it make a mess in my kitchen.
100% whole wheat flour lightly covering 100% of everything.
It's very farmy.
And bakery-ish.
It's very multi-tasky.
I now have wheat colored highlights in my hair.
Dusty blond.

My new-found homemaking skill led me to greater heights
in my entrepreneurial skills.

My brain just never ever shuts off.

I made 12 pounds of flour, bagged it up in 4 lb. bags,
put a cute little label on it...and
took it to the little country market where I sell
my eggs and gave the old man a sales pitch on why he should
buy my flour.

And he bought it.
And wants more.

I tell you what.

OH! And I got my order of 1 lb. of vanilla beans in the mail today.
I'm going to make vanilla extract.
That's also exciting, right?
Next I just need to go buy a gallon of vodka.
That's one blog post you aren't going to want to miss.

All this Proverbs 31-ish activity is going to have me rolling
in tens of dollars before you know it.
Or just rolling, depending on how much I dip into my vanilla concoction.

Don't worry, I won't forget my humble beginnings.



Now if you'll excuse me,
I need to go spy on Brenden on Facebook.


Brenden, if you are reading this, I was just kidding about that
last part. Please don't unfriend me.

today it happened...

This...

And this...

This...

And all this...

...can mean only one thing.

Today, it happened.

We took our baby boy to college today.

*Sniff sniff, boo-hoo, waah-waah-waah*
Repeat.
And repeat again.
And again.

I'm so happy and excited for him!

And I'm so sad for me.

No, he isn't going to OU.
He's just wearing that t-shirt to confuse you...and me.

big girls' night out

While Nick was in Florida yesterday,
playing a practice round preparing for his tournament
that begins today...

*He tees off at 9:30 this morning for his first round!*

Macy and I had big plans of our own.
We were generously given (by my parents) dinner-theater
tickets, which gave Macy and me a very, very, very, very
much needed big girls' night out.

Now listen.
I'm not a big person.
Some would even say I'm on the small side.
But I swear to you I feel like Serena Williams next to Macy.

We had an absolutely amazing dinner.
And dessert.
Neither of us will eat again until next Tuesday.

And here's a pic of us at the theater...

I just love this pic of me.
I used a complicated photography technique
and expensive camera lens,
that totally eliminates all unflattering features.
Email me if you want details on how it's done.



We had a really fun night.

disturbing story

I have a disturbing story that I must tell.

It's disturbing beyond measure.

So stop reading right now if you don't want to read about
something quite horribly disturbing.

*Can you tell I've been reading Lemony Snicket?

This morning I went out to take care of my chickens.

Fed them.
Watered them.
Gathered eggs.

I came inside and put the eggs away in the refrigerator,
then got distracted doing something else.

Just a few minutes later I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
As I was flossing,
I was astonished at the smell of my breath.
Never had I ever noticed my own bad breath before.
It was, for lack of better words, rather crappy smelling.
I was horrified.

So I went to throw away my floss and alarmingly noticed....
*gasp*horror*disgust*disbelief*
chicken poop on my fingers.

Oh yes.

That happened.
To me.

So I am now bonded even closer to my feathery flock.

But thank goodness it wasn't really my breath.


*And for the record, I normally DO wash my hands
immediately after taking care of them.
And after that incident, you can bet your bright yellow egg yolks I
will never forget again.

Eli {unleashed}

One of the concerns we had about adopting a little guy along with
a bigger guy was that little guy would steal the attention
with his massive cuteness.

Well, in a way...that's true.
Isaiah is a burst of hilarity and is limitless with his innocent bravery in
his new surroundings.

Eli, on the other hand is more guarded.But having his new little brother has proven to be very good
for him in many ways.
One being that he helps soften the awkwardness that comes with
older child adoption (for us and for him).


But this post is fully dedicated to my big brave boy.
He is the sweetest young man you'll ever meet.
He won't let you lift a finger if he can figure out a way to
do what you're doing for you.
He is eager to help the little kids when they are hurt or
need a push on the swing.
He is so sweet.
Did I mention that?

I'm so proud of him.

Oh and he eats like nobody's business.
He apparently thinks I cook the most incredible things because
he asks for second...third...and fourth servings.
Does my heart good.
Finally, someone appreciates my fine culinary skills.
I knew my 4 years of high school home ec would
eventually pay off.


I think he looks so much like his Chinese brother, Xiao Dong,
here.

Basketball.
He loves it so much.
And is also working hard on pronouncing it correctly.



And umm, I caught a glimpse of another side of him
last evening when I started taking pics...

Impromptu martial arts.

And a gun show.

And if you didn't know,
I'm a black belt in Drive-way Karate.

Don't mess with this.

We're cool.
Don't you forget it.

Having fun.

alone

If a grin could be heard, you'd definitely hear mine right about now.

I had the most fabulous day with Brenden doin' the college-tour thing.

Love, love, love this school. Love it.

He's there for the evening,

participating in various student activities and spending the night

in a dorm.

Me?

Thanks for asking.

I am in a hotel room ALL by myself

(that's where my loud grin comes in).

I can't decide what I like best about this scenario...

the remote all to myself?

a king-size bed all for little ol' me?

my unlimited computer time?

the magazine I plan to read later, uninterrupted?

the fact that I ate dinner in bed?

Oh, it's ALL of those things.

But truly, I miss my family terribly. Terribly!

I will try to endure this with bravery though.

Oh, oh.

But I must tell you about the texting conversation I had with Nick (back home) this morning.

I was checking in with him because he was supposed to pick Macy up from

her second day of math class.

Me: "Did you get Macy from school OK? DON'T answer if you are driving."

Nick: "Ya, I guess.

And I'm totally driving with my feet and texting at the same time, Mom."

Me: "You give me gray hair, kid!!"

Nick: "No, I'm pretty sure that's because you're old."

Me: "Christmas is just around the corner, smarty pants!"

Nick: "I'm sorry, Mommy! I love you!"

Me: "Too late."

Heehee.

Anyway, I gotta go. I've got so much to do.

Grin.

:)

chinese cowgirl

I was so excited on my way down to the mailbox to see
that the cattle next to us were settled into our shady
corner of the pasture....with their babies!
You can only see one here.

Lucy just loves these calves.
She's very family-oriented and will point out who
the mama must be...and then proceeds to
talk about the rest of the bovine-family.

I've had to explain to her that animals don't have families
the way people do, because she actually
gets worried if she doesn't see a clump of them
together and she assumes that something must be wrong.

She doesn't believe me.

Sweet girl.
She loves her family
and thinks all creatures should have the same experience.

Cute.

Here she is giving us her cowgirl look.

Then in the other direction came our neighbors riding
their horses.

Lucy has wanted to ride those horses for SO LONG!

But simply petting it was the thrill of her day!

And in an extreme effort to get her ON the horse,
we had to pull some rather risky maneuvers.

Which included me.

Getting ON a horse.

Which I haven't done since I was a tad older than Lucy.


But I hoisted my big back-side up and looked like
regular Jane Wayne.
Get it? John Wayne...Jane Wayne.
Never mind.

Lucy managed to muster up the same courage as Mom
and had an absolute blast!!

Then she got to ride on the BIG horse!

Macy didn't want to ride but took most of the pics.
She loves being behind the camera.
I can definitely see a budding talent there.


We had soooo much fun!!

royalty

Lucy got a package of these "crowns" (aka New Year's Eve hats)
from my mom
(actually, I think they came from my grandparents in Alabama).

Anyway,
they are royal adornments as far as she is concerned
and for all who are willing,
are required to wear them around the house.

Sadly,
it's only Mom and Dad who are loving enough to indulge her.
Poo-poo on the big kids who don't play along!

Dad is king, of course,
Lucy is a self-appointed princess.
Well, her daddy gave her that title long ago, actually.

And me?
Well, I'm the queen of the house.
And of the world.
(I'm way more like Lucy than I care to admit)

And when I was taking pics of Macy hoola hooping
the other day,
Lucy jumped in and had to have her camera time too.

And then she insisted on taking my pic,
which consists of her holding one eye shut with one hand,
and trying to balance the camera with the other...
she then asks me to push the button.
Needless to say, she needed more help than that
and Macy jumped in to help.

Have a peaceful Tuesday, ya'll!!

"sisters"

A very short and sweet blog post.
Cause I've got a c-r-a-z-y busy day.

Last Sunday I showed up at church and
quickly realized that (once again) my friend Angela
and I had dressed alike.
Seriously, I thought only my sisters and I did
this sort of mind-reading attire planning
but apparently Ang and I are sisters at heart.
Definitely sisters in Christ.

At age 40, I thought this was funny.
If this had happened when I was 14,
I would have begged my parents to take me back
home to change.

I actually love how with age we loosen up a
ton bit, don't you?!

Aren't we so cute?!

Thanks to my friend Faith who was
camera-ready to take our pic!

a hot date but not to China

K-man and I have been needing a date night
(with each other!)
for WAY TOO LONG.

Before Lucy came along went out at
least once a week.

We knew things would change drastically once our
sweet girl arrived and boy did they!

Wonderfully so!

But, a happy, refreshed marriage is such a
gift to our children, don't you think?

Plus we are trying to get Lucy used to the idea
of us leaving her when we go to China.

So, our wild night out tonight left
Brenden and Nick in charge.

These boys who love Lucy dearly....were scared to death!
It was comical.
And you can only imagine how they reacted when I started
explaining what to do if she had to go poo on the potty.

Prayer works because I have no doubt that they prayed
hard that Lucy would not need to poo and
in fact, she didn't.

And we fully expected Lucy to cry and beg us to stay...
and we were fully prepared to do just that.

Oh no....
She said a hearty good bye and refused to give us kisses.

Well.

So, this being a REAL date we took K-man's jeep...
not my boring mini-van.
A little self portrait of the happy couple...

K-man pulling out of the drive way...
does he really think I won't be taking pics of this date?

And here is a treat for you...my hair.

It blew every.which.way.

Believe it or not, it looked fairly decent once we
arrived at the restaurant.

25 years ago, had he made me endure
this follicle torture,
he wouldn't have seen me for a 2nd date.
Thankfully, I've lightened up over the years.
Obviously, because look at
those pics I'm letting the world see.
If you find my dignity along I35,
please mail it back to me, would you?

We weren't gone long but we had a
super time!!

When we got home,
Lucy raced outside to greet us...
jumping up and down.

She seemed overly-excited..
hmmm.
She looked around everywhere then said with panic in her voice,

"Didn't you go to China to get Shu Li??"

Oh, sweet baby girl.

We gently said no and she BURST into tears.
I mean, she cried hard.

We felt horrible!!

We eventually calmed her down and tried to explain
that it wasn't time for us to go to China yet.

Then K-man knew just what would cheer her up!

A ride around the yard in the jeep!

She had a blast.