random things by lori

A few things I know:

1.  I could really use an assistant around here.  You know, to pay miscellaneous bills,

clean a toilet here and there, and to polish my toenails.

Have I ever told you that I have an aunt who has an assistant?

In fact, I think she has two.

And she doesn't even work outside her home.

She's just got lotsa bucks.

How nice for her.

2.  It is horribly hot here, all of a sudden.

We've enjoyed the most glorious spring/early-summer.

But now it's miserable.

And my margarita machine simply can't keep up.

But what I do have in my favor is my garage kitchen.

And I'm super grateful, as I was last summer, that I can bake things outside

and not heat up my regular kitchen.

And this is exactly where my new "assistant" would come into play.

She/he would bring dinner in from the garage and display it nicely on 

our dining room table.

And we would all oooh-and-aaah, and enjoy it immensely. 

3.  I need a sous chef.

Or I need an executive chef, and I'll be the sous chef.
I don't really care.

Either way, I am desperate for help in my kitchen.

Which would give my assistant a huge sigh of relief.

I owe it go her/him.

4.  My kittens are almost all gone.

Sigh.

Two down and one to go.

One, of the four of them, is staying with us forever and ever.

Or until a coyote gets it.

Whichever.

 Her name is Sally.

It's Sarah's cat.  But I'm taking care of it.  Just like her chickens.

(Have I already told you this?)

She's the black and white one.

She's delicious.

5.  Okay, now listen up.

I am reading THE BEST BOOK right now.

I am dying, it's so good.

The BEST book I've read in a good long time.

It's entertaining, beyond measure.

Hilarious.

Romantic.

And funny.

Hilarious, even.

(Don't "click" to look inside...I just snatched this photo from Amazon, that's all.)

And honestly, even though it's not a "self-help" book (which make me almost gag at this point in life),

or a Scripture-loaded romance novel, it is a FABULOUS read. 

Honestly, if you want to see how a REAL woman honors, respects, and loves her husband

in a way that is beyond awesome, READ THIS.

It's just so real.

And it's written by The Pioneer Woman, as if you didn't already know that.

Black Heels to Tractor Wheels,

by Ree Drummond. 

Listen, I am telling you right here and now,

if you want a summer read that you simply CANNOT put down,

READ it.

READ IT.

You will love it so very much.

I promise!!!!

It's SO FUNNY.

And very ROMANTIC.

And EVERYTHING you love in a good book, and much more.

6.  I declare Wednesday to be, "No Cook Wednesday!"

You with me?

I thought so.

7.  I'm thinking of breaking out my sewing machine again.

You know, just to add to my already full list of things to work on.

I do love me some sewing, every few years.

8.  Macy and Eli are at church youth camp.

PLEASE pray for them as you think of them.

Macy especially could use you prayers.

She is sooooo socially awkward and did NOT want to go.

Even though she had a blast last year.

And even though she accepted JESUS into her heart the very day she returned last year.

(I had the HUGE honor of leading her in prayer for salvation.)

She just has some major abandonment issues.

And lest I go into an angry hate-filled rant over all that (and rightfully so),

please, just PRAY.

I'll stop now.

Gahhh.

9.  I've been doing daily calisthenics before my morning shower each morning.

I mean, really intense stuff.

And today I timed myself to see just exactly how long I was working my bee-hind off.

3:23 minutes.

What!!??

I can't say that I wasn't hugely disappointed.

Because my "workout" leaves me completely breathless and begging for mercy.

I suppose 3 minutes is better than no minutes.

But at this rate, I'm not sure that I'll achieve the buttox I've always dreamed of any time soon.

10.  Fresh garlic is my new drug of choice.

It's an obsession I can't escape.

I eat it on almost everything.

Feel free to offer me a breath mint if we're talking close-up.

I wont' take offense, I promise.

And that's that, ya'll.